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Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 11:56 am
Inspired by this conversation on tumblr about rule 63 Eridan/Feferi, and others I've seen: here's a selection of the first few interactions between Feferi and Eridan with their genders swapped in a really slapdash way. There's an version of the chat without all the text quirks at the bottom of the page.

No thoughts as yet, just wanted to see what it looked like. The text required very little changing!

Erida: Examine block.

rule 63 Eridan in his hive
You conveniently return to your respiteblock so that we may study your variety of INTERESTS.

This was very considerate of you.

Flowing through your veins is nearly the richest blood the hemospectrum has to offer, penultimate on the scale. As such, you are a SEA DWELLER, a sub-race of troll distinct from the commoners by mutation and habitat, a caste which rules over the entire species.

But ruling, in your view, is not enough. You have an overpowering GENOCIDE COMPLEX, and have made it your sworn duty to KILL ALL LAND DWELLERS. You have amassed resources and deadly weaponry from around the world for this ambition through many sweeps of EXTREME ROLE PLAYING, while pursuing a working DOOMSDAY DEVICE which will bring armageddon to all those on the surface. Haven't had much luck with that, but maybe tonight's your night.

You hold a fascination for MILITARY HISTORY AND LEGENDARY CONQUERORS. You have dubiously modeled your profile and exploits after the most notorious figures and their stories, which are bristling with the GLORY OF VICTORY and the STING OF DEFEAT and POLITICAL MACHINATIONS and ROMANTIC INTRIGUE. It is an image you are careful to craft through EXAGGERATED EMOTIONAL THEATRICS, and your penchant for mass murder notwithstanding, people tend to regard you as a BIT OF A TOOL.

You also like MAGIC, even though you know it to be FAKE. Like a made up friend, the way wizards are. Made up make believe FAKEY FAKEY FAKES. It's still fun though.

Your trolltag is caligulasAquarium and you speak wwith a vvery wweird and sort of wwavvy soundin accent.

You hold off on doing anything for the moment on account of courtesy to fellow royalty.

Fefero: Examine block.

rule 63 Feferi in her hive

On the subject of courtesy, you have also returned to your block so we can get a better look at you. Again, quite considerate.

Royalty sure is civilized!

You are also a SEA DWELLER. You have the most noble blood possible, the only of your kind known to possess it, and the only to share it with GL'BGOLYB, a deep sea monster also known as THE RIFT'S CARBUNCLE, EMISSARY TO THE HORRORTERRORS, or in more hushed tones, SPEAKER OF THE VAST GLUB.

This makes you the HEIR APPARENT for Alternian rulership, which ordinarily would place you in considerable jeopardy. HIS IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION would steer the flagship from the fleet and make an attempt on your life himself, if not for the protection of your monstrous lusus.

And if not forewarned of your race's extinction by the whispers of that lusus, you would have BIG PLANS FOR THE THRONE. All the plans. All of them.

You would redefine what it means to be CULLED in troll society. Under your rule it would mean caring for the unfit and infirm rather than exterminating them, and you have put this idea into practice by CULLING THE FAUNA OF THE DEEP. You tend to wild and beautiful AQUATIC HOOFBEASTS, grooming and feeding them daily. You capture and cage CUTTLEFISH by the thousands for their own good, and also because they are funny and colorful and you love them. They often swim through the bars of their cages, but that is fine. You run your whole palace as a sort of WILDLIFE ADOPTION FACILITY, even if the wildlife's need for care is dubious at best, and the practice really just amounts to an elaborate ROLE PLAYING SCENARIO. It's still fun though.

You would also look forward to using your reign to UNITE THE TWO RACES. You were told you would do this one day by your lusus, even if it does contradict his message of extinction. Oh well, you suppose NOT ALL PROPHECIES CAN COME TRUE.

Your trolltag is cuttlefishCuller and you )(ave a )(ard time not getting R-EALLY -EXCIT-ED ABOUT PRACTICALLY -EV-------ERYT)(ING!

Erida: Bother Fefero.

Feferi and Eridan messaging each other

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: fef
CA: hey
CC: ?
CA: glub
CC: Glub glub!
CC: 38)
CA: yeah
CA: hm
CC: W)(at is it!!!
CA: wwhat
CC: I am wondering if you can forego t)(e exaggerated emotional t)(eatrics for once and actually tell me w)(at's on your mind!
CA: nothins on my mind wwhy cant i just fuckin talk and glub at you for a reason i dont havve
CC: 38|
CA: wwell fine but you dont wwant to hear it
CC: Yes I do.
CC: We are supposed to talk to eac)( ot)(er, t)(at is w)(at moirails are for.
CA: uhuh wwhatevver
CC: Glub glub glub glub siiiiig)(.
CC: Will you take t)(e c)(ip off your nub and tell me w)(at's t)(e matter?
CA: yeah wwell ok since wwe are the PALEST OF PALS A GIRL COULD EVVER ASK FOR
CA: i wwill tell you
CA: evven though you wwill only humor me as usual since you dont agree wwith my agenda
CA: any of my agendas really
CA: none of the agendas
CA: none of them
CC: Are you fretting over anot)(er one of t)(ese dumb contraptions?
CA: see
CA: more condescension
CA: you are goin to make a hell of an emperor
CC: No I'm not! But t)(at is beside t)(e point.
CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk!
CA: so
CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance
CC: I t)(ink deep down you stack t)(ese plots against you so you fail because you know it's wrong.
CA: it isnt wwrong
CA: im not going to explain it to you again
CA: at this point all you need to knoww is its important to me
CA: and im doing it for us
CA: i mean our kind
CA: nobody understands not evven you
CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is.
CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!
CC: GLUB. >38(
CA: pshh
CA: hemospectrum begs to differ
CC: If you're as sickened by t)(em as you say, w)(y do you spend so muc)( time on land?
CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at...
CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!
CA: wwhatevver
CA: i havve to keep an eye on em up here
CA: its all about tactics
CC: W)(at about your friends? Do you ever t)(ink about t)(em?
CC: If t)(ey are beneat)( you t)(en t)(ey )(ave to die too.
CC: And I know you like talking to some of t)(em. You say you )(ate t)(em but I t)(ink you are pretending!
CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out
CA: evven goin as far as growwin fond a some
CA: its only civvilized
CC: Mmm )(mm.
CC: I )(ave a fis)(y feeling...
CC: T)(at t)(is stupid doomsday mac)(ine t)(ing is just anot)(er excuse to consort!
CC: Wit)( someone in particular...
CA: all your feelins are fishy
CC: 38P
CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB
CC: 38O
CC: DON'T YOU GLUB IN T)(AT TON-E OF GLUB WIT)( M-E MIST-ER!
CA: ill glub in wwhatevver dumbass bubbly soundin fishnoise i wwant to glub
CC: O)( S)(IT, you are angling for SO MUC)( TROUBL-E NOW.
CA: ok please lets just not get into the wwhole fuckin fish pun thing again ok
CA: like wwe get it wwe are nautically themed
CC: )(-E)(-E ok. 38)
CA: but yeah i dunno
CA: i dont knoww wwhy he ignores me i guess hes just bored wwith me
CA: wwe had it all set up for him to givve me this thing tonight that probably doesnt evven wwork but yeah maybe that wwasnt the point
CA: i mean you think wwe havve a pretty good rivvalry goin right
CA: or at least had
CA: it wwas pretty fuckin bitter and contentious for a wwhile there and there wwas some good chemistry i dont knoww wwhat happened
CC: Um, I guess?
CC: I wouldn't really know.
CC: Sometimes people just drift away I t)(ink, or just aren't as into t)(e quadrant as t)(e ot)(er wants to be.
CC: So you really t)(ink your feelings for )(im run t)(at dark?
CA: it doesnt matter like i said hes bored shitless
CA: i guess im not as good a advversary as i thought
CC: T)(at is so ridiculous, any boy would be lucky to )(ave a kismesis as diabolical as you, especially T)(AT one.
CC: W)(o knows w)(at )(is problem is! )(e )(as issues.
CA: ehhh
CA: wwell ok thanks for sayin so
CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations.
CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING!
CA: shrug
CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned friend.
CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your bro moirail!
CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember.
CA: maybe
CA: seems kinda
CA: odd though
CC: Your stupid fis)(y face is w)(at's odd!
CC: )(AV-E YOU -EV-ER T)(OUG)(T ABOUT T)(AT??
CA: fine
CA: wwell those are my stupid feelins wwhat about yours
CA: seems to me like you get along too wwell wwith evverybody to be harborin any black sentiments
CC: Um...
CC: Yea)(. I can't t)(ink of anybody I feel t)(at way about. 38\
CC: Maybe I am just not old enoug)( to )(ave t)(ose feelings yet? We are still pretty young you know.
CA: yeah
CC: So ok. T)(ose are your black leanings.
CC: W)(at about R-ED, ------Erida???
CC: )(MMMMM??????? 38D
CA: oh god
CC: Is t)(ere a lucky fellow you are waxing scarlet for?
CC: OR LUCKY LADY??? 38O
CA: uh
CC: Tell me!
CC: Don't pretend you're all -EMBARRASS-ED SUDD-ENLY!!!
CA: ok fef
CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS
CC: 38o
CA: i gotta go
CA: be back later wwhen its time to play

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: 38(

Unquirked:


CA: fef
CA: hey
CC: (question mark)
CA: glub
CC: Glub glub!
CC: (happy face)
CA: yeah
CA: hm
CC: What is it!!!
CA: what
CC: I am wondering if you can forego the exaggerated emotional theatrics for once and actually tell me what's on your mind!
CA: nothing's on my mind why cant i just fucking talk and glub at you for a reason i don't have
CC: (annoyed face)
CA: well fine but you don't want to hear it
CC: Yes I do.
CC: We are supposed to talk to each other, that is what moirails are for.
CA: uhuh whatever
CC: Glub glub glub glub sigh.
CC: Will you take the chip off your nub and tell me what's the matter?
CA: yeah well ok since we are the PALEST OF PALS A GIRL COULD EVER ASK FOR
CA: i will tell you
CA: even though you will only humor me as usual since you don't agree with my agenda
CA: any of my agendas really
CA: none of the agendas
CA: none of them
CC: Are you fretting over another one of these dumb contraptions?
CA: see
CA: more condescension
CA: you are going to make a hell of an emperor
CC: No I'm not! But that is beside the point.
CC: None of your plots to kill the land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your hands on turns out to be a piece of junk!
CA: so
CA: i got to keep trying thats how all the great military masterminds became great through upright perseverance
CC: I think deep down you stack these plots against you so you fail because you know it's wrong.
CA: it isn't wrong
CA: I'm not going to explain it to you again
CA: at this point all you need to know is its important to me
CA: and I'm doing it for us
CA: i mean our kind
CA: nobody understands not even you
CC: This is the last time I will say this.
CC: WE ARE NOT BETTER THAN ANYBODY!!!!!
CC: GLUB. (annoyed face)
CA: pshh
CA: hemospectrum begs to differ
CC: If you're as sickened by them as you say, why do you spend so much time on land?
CC: You can't have the sort of affinity for "our kind" that you profess if you've only spent, what...
CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE!
CA: whatever
CA: i have to keep an eye on em up here
CA: its all about tactics
CC: What about your friends? Do you ever think about them?
CC: If they are beneath you then they have to die too.
CC: And I know you like talking to some of them. You say you hate them but I think you are pretending!
CA: history is full of cases where conquerers consort with members of the enemy in a mannerly way before wiping them out
CA: even going as far as growing fond a some
CA: its only civilized
CC: Mmm hmm.
CC: I have a fishy feeling...
CC: That this stupid doomsday machine thing is just another excuse to consort!
CC: With someone in particular...
CA: all your feelings are fishy
CC: (tongue sticking out)
CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB
CC: (shocked face)
CC: DON'T YOU GLUB IN THAT TONE OF GLUB WITH ME MISTER!
CA: i'll glub in whatever dumbass bubbly sounding fishnoise i want to glub
CC: Oh SHIT, you are angling for SO MUCH TROUBLE NOW.
CA: ok please let's just not get into the whole fucking fish pun thing again ok
CA: like we get it we are nautically themed
CC: he he ok. (smiley face)
CA: but yeah i dunno
CA: i don't know why he ignores me i guess he's just bored with me
CA: we had it all set up for him to give me this thing tonight that probably doesn't even work but yeah maybe that wasn't the point
CA: i mean you think we have a pretty good rivalry going right
CA: or at least had
CA: it was pretty fucking bitter and contentious for a while there and there was some good chemistry i don't know what happened
CC: Um, I guess?
CC: I wouldn't really know.
CC: Sometimes people just drift away I think, or just aren't as into the quadrant as the other wants to be.
CC: So you really think your feelings for him run that dark?
CA: it doesn't matter like i said he's bored shitless
CA: i guess I'm not as good a adversary as i thought
CC: That is so ridiculous, any boy would be lucky to have a kismesis as diabolical as you, especially ThAT one.
CC: Who knows what his problem is! he has issues.
CA: ehhh
CA: well ok thanks for saying so
CC: You know, I'm not sure why we never talk about our romantic aspirations.
CC: We should more often. It is kind of EXCITING!
CA: shrug
CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota with your nubby horned friend.
CC: You leave nothing left to talk about with your bro moirail!
CC: We are supposed to help each other with that stuff too, remember.
CA: maybe
CA: seems kinda
CA: odd though
CC: Your stupid fishy face is what's odd!
CC: hAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??
CA: fine
CA: well those are my stupid feelings what about yours
CA: seems to me like you get along too well with everybody to be harboring any black sentiments
CC: Um...
CC: Yeah. I can't think of anybody I feel that way about. 38\
CC: Maybe I am just not old enough to have those feelings yet? We are still pretty young you know.
CA: yeah
CC: So ok. Those are your black leanings.
CC: What about RED, Erida???
CC: hMMMMM??????? 38D
CA: oh god
CC: Is there a lucky fellow you are waxing scarlet for?
CC: OR LUCKY LADY??? 38O
CA: uh
CC: Tell me!
CC: Don't pretend you're all EMBARRASSED SUDDENLY!!!
CA: ok fef
CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS
CC: (shocked face)
CA: i gotta go
CA: be back later when its time to play

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: (sadface)