sqbr: (up and down)
Thursday, July 7th, 2016 01:28 pm
(Because I promised myself any future long replies to reblogs would go here and not tumblr)

http://planettes.tumblr.com/post/146807918775/planettes-imo-the-split-attraction-model-is

Imo the split attraction model is ultimately useless and homophobic when you can still just say that youre lgb in any situation and will be regarded exactly the same in society with 100% less confusion.


No.

I do think the way some asexuals discuss split attraction can be gross for non-asexual lgb people, and that needs to be addressed. And there are definitely some lgb people on the asexual spectrum who don’t consider their asexuality to be a significant part of their identity and that’s fine. There are also some who identify as just “asexual” and consider the lgb-ness less important! For many people, myself included, being asexual-and-also-lgb is NOT the same as being lgb, and well beyond the bedroom. Maybe we’ll come up with a better model one day, but until then I’m going to use the best terms I have to describe myself and not erase my sexuality for other people’s convenience. I do understand that queer people have historically been hypersexualised, and I think it’s really important for asexuals to bear that in mind when we discuss the relationship of asexuality and queerness. But we can’t help existing, and the solution isn’t for us to hide but for all of us to work together against the broader harmful attitudes.
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sqbr: (up and down)
Thursday, May 5th, 2016 05:36 pm
So, a question that's come up in a game I'm working on, and is likely to come up again in future: how do you combine allowing the player character (PC) of a dating sim having a spectrum of gender identities available with having love interests who aren't all bi/pan?
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sqbr: (up and down)
Wednesday, July 1st, 2015 11:54 am
I've seen a lot of mogai people expressing discomfort/disdain for the plethora of rainbow filtered icons on facebook, and I don't mean to tell them they're wrong for their personal reaction, but I like it. I'm tired so here's my reasons in dot points.


  • rainbows are pretty
  • I can still see who people are (this is why I never participate in memes where everyone uses the same picture. Too confusing!)
  • I now know those people are at least basically ok with same sex relationships! This does not go without saying for everyone I follow.
  • Everyone who follows those people knows it too. This normalises mogai acceptance in general and marriage equality in particular. Since most people I follow are Australian and marriage equality hasn't been legalised here, that's not insignificant. And this is the case even if the people with the filters are doing it because of peer pressure/fashion.
  • It's nice to feel part of a global celebration of civil rights (yes, of a United States specific event). Especially because rainbows are so festive!
  • it's a really mild, ambiguous way for me to express my sexuality in a situation where I'm not 100% out.
  • On my feed at least it's NOT all straight people, in fact I'd say it heavily skews lgbt. And the fact it's popular with straight people means the rest of us aren't unambiguously outing ourselves by using it.


I think that's about it! I know there are arguments against it, I'm not saying it's an unalloyed good. But it felt like a lot of people were assuming that the ONLY people who like it were straight and nope.

Here's two contrasting articles about it I came across via Facebook:
More than 26 million people have changed their Facebook picture to a rainbow flag. Here’s why that matters.
If you’re straight you need to stop using rainbow profile pics.
sqbr: Nepeta from Homestuck looking grumpy in front of the f/f parts of her shipping wall (grumpy)
Saturday, December 27th, 2014 12:07 am
Playing Date Warp, a little indie scifi visual novel/dating sim that was on special recently. It's overall been more fun than I was expecting, even if the science makes NO SENSE and the art is middling to awful.

The first LI I tried is basically a human version of Cole from Dragon Age Inquisition: a younger innocent blonde dude who defines himself entirely by wanting to help others. I was worried when the PC said "But he's younger and prettier than me, is that weird?" but in the end it was a sweet little romance. (nb I would not have dated the ACTUAL Cole. ...I think)

The second was a slightly sleazy poly bisexual mad scientist who's a sweetie deep down. You flirt and talk a lot about science and then he asks if you want to have meaningless sex.
Spoilers for what happens next )
sqbr: Nepeta from Homestuck looking grumpy in front of the f/f parts of her shipping wall (grumpy)
Sunday, August 11th, 2013 08:24 pm
I've seen a lot of people talk about slash fandom as a queer space, but I'm not sure I've seen anyone talk about femslash fandom as one.

When I started out in online fanworks based fandom I identified as straight and had extreme difficulty finding femslash for anything I was interested in. Figuring out where the femslashers are at and figuring out my sexuality have to some extent gone hand in hand, and hanging out with other femslashers has been a hugely positive experience.
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sqbr: pretty purple pi (Default)
Saturday, March 2nd, 2013 02:10 pm
Crime Against Nature Kids book about same sex and other "unnatural" relationships in nature. Not sue it works as a kids book but still interesting! Couldn't get it to download though.

When Depression is Contagious Captain Awkward post about how to draw boundaries and look after your own emotional well being when in a relationship with a depressed person.

Say hello to The Old Republic's gay planet All the same sex content in Bioware's Star Wars: The Old Republic MMMORPG is on one planet. Uh huh.

AMAZINGLY OFFENSIVE: On Stephen Hawking, Vader and Being More Machine Than Human Inspired me to make a More machine than man shirt because screw you, self obsessed technophiles.

Why I play violent video games Not the same reasons as me, but still an interesting read from another woman who likes violent video games (and no, not despite the violence)

The secret life of them: What it takes to shift class in Australia Quite different to my experience as an upwardly mobile child of downwardly mobile ex-middle class white people, but that's what you'd expect.

the positive side of socialism

Health Panics in Historical Perspective

“Oh, You Sexy Geek!”: “Geek Girls” and the Problem of Self-Objectification

I've been reading through Pervocracy, I particularly liked
Using my vagina about the validity of having unsexy sex if that's genuinely what you want.

From a different POV, You Need Help: Let's Talk About (Having More) Sex

Conservatives can be persuaded to care more about the environment, study finds

Multiple Sclerosis, Kepral’s Syndrome, and Why I’m Glad Thane Dies The importance of illness narratives with no magical cure.
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Thursday, June 7th, 2012 08:07 pm


I did a meme on tumblr offering to do a video post on any requested subject (the other one is on maths so got posted to alias_sqbr) and was given the topic "being a queer, disabled, feminist writer". I didn't talk much about feminism in the end! I'm wearing a Kate Beaton "Brontes" shirt and key earrings (and pants. You can't see them, just letting you know they're there)

It's interesting seeing what assumptions and stuff show up when I can't go back and edit the first thing that pops out of my head eg the idea that queer fandom = femslash fanfic which is all written by women, which...no :) Also, as a kid I actually did like the idea of a husband/boyfriend being like a best friend but better. But I knew not all relationships were like that.

Transcript below the cut, there are also closed captions through the magic of Youtube. A few errors but I can't be bothered fixing them right now, sorry!
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sqbr: (up and down)
Saturday, May 26th, 2012 06:41 pm
Headline: Advocates hail first aged-care facilities for gays

Teaser: Gay rights advocates are hailing a Government decision to recognise the specific needs of elderly gay people, with three aged-care facilities being built specifically for gay and lesbian people currently in the works.

Halfway down the page: the Government is going to legislate and include lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex older people in the Aged Care Act

(This is a quote, mind you, the journalist might well have left bisexual, transgender and intersex people out of the article altogether given the chance. Too confusing, you know. And let's not even start on other identities like being genderqueer...)

Anyway, the news itself is good. I was actually just discussing this with my mum, who eventually had to put her atheist parents into religious nursing homes because that's all she could find. Grandma complained that noone appreciated her pro same sex marriage stance :)

Also I have decided that this is my bisexuality icon until something better comes along.
sqbr: Nepeta from Homestuck looking grumpy in front of the f/f parts of her shipping wall (grumpy)
Sunday, April 29th, 2012 09:36 am
or "One reason my Pride and Prejudice femslash fizzled out". This is for The 3rd Annual Femslash Mini Meta Fest in response to the prompt "What's your approach to writing femslash in times and places that are notoriously unfriendly for f/f relationships, especially historical settings?"
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sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Saturday, September 24th, 2011 12:00 pm
So, I decided a couple of weeks ago that I identify as bi (or something along those lines) I see no reason to be in the closet about it should it come up in conversation, but couldn't see that it would that much, or that most people would care. Still, there was that niggling worry about the world suddenly turning into a magical wonderland of homophobia I'd never noticed before.
And it is pretty magical )
sqbr: Torchwood spoilers for various episode numbers: Jack dies (torchwood spoilers)
Friday, June 10th, 2011 09:40 am
I just inhaled all seven episodes of the period drama Downton Abbey, set in an English country estate in around 1913. One the one hand, it was very engaging and I got quite attached to the characters. On the other hand, the only way I got through it was by stopping every now and then to be irritated and work on this post, which is serious business enough to be posted here instead of [personal profile] alias_sqbr.

It's that irritatingly common form of modern period drama, which says "Yes, the olden days were unjust, but they had a sort of charming simplicity, and the way things were made better was with politeness and determination and not rocking the boat too hard, and anyone who complained too much was a selfish uppity thug or tragic monster".
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sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Friday, August 13th, 2010 01:41 pm
Curently killing time on cams new iPad in the dentists surgery while he has a tooth extracted. (heh, it automatically capitalized iPad. Grr and put the z in capitalized)

Anyway, at the perth train station beforehand cam said "did you see that woman 'defending' marriage? Totally code for being anti gay marriage"

And sure enough a few moments later she approached us.

Her: are you in favor of marriage?
Me: I'm in favor of marriage for all people
Her: good! Then would you like to make a donation or come to our rally?
Me: that depends, are you in favor of marriage for same sex couples?
Her: ... No
Me: then you're not in favor of marriage.

And then we walked away, with her saying a bit belatedly "but marriage is between a man and a woman..."

(would have posted this to alias-sqbr but am logged in here and may have to get off at any minute)
sqbr: A happy dragon on a pile of books (happy dragon)
Saturday, February 20th, 2010 07:38 pm
I was going to try and do an indepth thinky post about Dragon Age:Origins(*) but then I'd feel obliged to research it and I think I'd rather not learn so much about the setting that I can see all the cracks. So here's just lots of misc non-spoilery thoughts (I can't think about anything as solidly as I have this game and not poke it wrt bias etc).

On the whole I think it's pretty awesome as a game, but some aspects are problematic to a greater and lesser extent.
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sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 05:12 pm
EDIT: The more I think about this the more I worry it's derailing :( I shall leave it unlocked, of only so I can link to it the next time I am annoyed by a boundary policing straight person. But still, apologies.

So, I think homophobia and heterosexism are bad. I'm against any sort of oppression on principle, but I've also seen the terrible hurt these prejudices can cause, both in the wider world and to my LGBTQ friends in particular.

But without meaning to minimise or distract from that (because it is definitely more important), I was recently struck by the way in which a particular form of heterosexism hurts me as a straight woman as well.

Namely, the way that the impossible bind bisexual women are put into (any interest in the same sex-> lesbian! Any interest in the opposite sex-> straight!) also, in a less extreme way, erases the sexuality of those of us who have some same sex attraction but still identify as straight.

Thus, my rambling somewhat self-centered thoughts. This is definitely not a complete analysis of bi erasure! And the primary target of my ire here is boundary policing from straight people (including the little boundary policing straight person in my head), since I feel skeevy lecturing LGBT people about how they should be more inclusive of me. Only talking about women since that's where I've seen it play out, but a lot of this applies to men too1.

PLEASE let me know if I'm being a straightsplaining jerk, and I apologise in advance if I am. I really hope not, but it's a complicated topic.

EDIT: And I am! Am in the process of editing based on people's criticisms, see the comments.

This is the conversation which inspired this post (and expresses pretty much everything I want to say much more succinctly :)), but is definitely not the first time I've encountered these ideas.
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sqbr: Torchwood spoilers for various episode numbers: Jack dies (torchwood spoilers)
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 01:48 pm
This isn't a deep post. just an off topic tangent from this discussion.

So, ones I can think of off the top of my head (my brain has of course gone blank):

  • Revolutionary Girl Utena
  • Card Captor Sakura
  • Sailor Moon? (I haven't seen it)
  • Check the comments for many more!


It doesn't have to be the main characters, my point was that sometimes in anime (unlike mainstream western tv) you can think "Those two have such good chemistry, wouldn't it be great if they got together!" and they do.

EDIT: Obviously I'm not the best judge of this myself but the aim is stories one can enjoy as representations of queerness not unrealistic yaoi etc, and relatively mainstream anime that a typical sff geek might easily encounter and enjoy.

There's also lots where the subtext never quite becomes text but isn't actively contradicted either, like (as I recall) "Read or Die".
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 09:56 am
My last post and related discussions have got me thinking about the ways in which fic in general, and my fic in particular, pokes at social justice issues, as well as what it is about f/f romance that pings for me in a particular way other types of stories don't.

And I've realised that what I really like reading is stories that not only highlight the inequalities in society, and show people from marginalised groups being awesome, but show them working together to overcome those inequalities.

Note: the rest of this post is self indulgent introspection. But I am curious to know if anyone else seeks out stories like this. I know people see it as a trope that SHOULD be written for sensible socially conscious reasons, but for me it's also a very strong entirely selfish personal preference, akin to my love of schmoopy m/f romance.
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sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 09:59 am
[personal profile] naraht's post Adult privilege linking to The Adult Privilege Checklist has a great discussion in the comments poking at the various aspects of adult privilege and possible criticisms of the list. [personal profile] hl's response The Opression of Chilhood. In which I try for emotionless and hard analysis (and fail) got me thinking about intersections.

I don't have any major point, just some thoughts.

So:

  • I think a lot of "why don't people pull themselves up by their bootstraps" classism/racism glosses over the fact that children REALLY can't do this. (Not that it's fair to expect it of anyone, but noone's going to deny it's stupid to expect it of say a baby)
  • Control over sexuality and identity is a MAJOR issue for intersex children, and anyone else with an "abnormal" but functional body who is operated on without their consent "for their own good".
  • The way children are forced into their parents ethnic/cultural values is a serious issue for interracial/international adoptees.


There's more along those lines, but if I wait until I have more to say I'll never get around to posting this :)

EDIT: Adult Privilege Linkspam and A Transformational Politic (bell hooks).

I find myself pondering the similarities and differences with the treatment of disabled people, especially those with cognitive disabilities.
sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Saturday, November 21st, 2009 07:14 am
As [personal profile] spiralsheep documents in In which Peter Tatchell gamed the system to suppress this academic paper, a paper Gay Imperialism: Gender and Sexuality Discourse in the ‘War on Terror' critical of Islamophobia in the Western/European LGBT movement has been comprehensively censored by the UK gay leader Peter Tatchell who claims to have been libeled by it.

Afaict any factual errors are no worse than your usual critical article and I personally found it a very worthwhile read, so have followed sanguinity's request to host a copy:


As a straight person I don't want to get too involved in poking at the GLBT movement, but there's a lot to take from it on the way white Western feminists use "defending the poor muslim women" as a reason to be Islamophobic.
sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 10:51 am
I've been meaning to talk about political correctness for ages but recent discussions eg the hey hey thing made me decide to give it a shot.

So: I think "political correctness" is just a new form of politeness, eg an attempt to get people to treat others ethically and with consideration using peer pressure. Like any form of politeness, sometimes people get so caught up in the letter of the law that they lose track of the spirit, and it sometimes gets hijacked by those who care more about social standing and appearance than being a decent human being.

EDIT: something I was going to talk about and then ran out of spoons for was the way that the term "political corectness" is pretty much only used by people insulting a straw-man version of social justice. In this post I've acted liek it's a valid term to make life simpler but it's not, really.
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