Actually, no, I think we just have different attitudes to rude people in general.
Criticising how someone communicates is one thing, and yes, if someone is really rude you do have a right to go "Hey, that's rude! Stop it!". I wasn't clear, but what I was complaining about was people who rather than going "You being so nasty has annoyed me", or "you personally are too annoying for me to want to listen to", instead passive aggressively concern troll and expect to be thanked for it, or say "Since you are rude, you are clearly wrong", or take ONE person being rude about something as an excuse to ignore any later polite complaints.
But discounting/ignoring is a different thing. Just because someone is rude doesn't mean they're wrong. Are you saying you'd rather continue being wrong than take advice from someone who's rude? I mean there are certain kinds of behaviour which so strongly correlate with not being worth listening to that you're justified in ignoring people who use them (Unbelievably bad spelling, all caps flames, yelled from a car etc) but that's to save yourself effort/pain, not to punish them or because it's impossible that people communicating that way are wrong.
I don't know, am I the only person who has a huge gap between "More rude than I think is justified" and "So rude they're not worth engaging with"? There are LOTS of times where I think "that person is being unbelievably rude, and I don't like them for it, but I'll still try to figure out what they're saying and see if they have a point".
You've got me pondering a post to ask about other people's attitudes now. Can you give me some examples of hypothetical situations (preferably not about racism etc since I think the fact we have different attitudes about that could muddy things) where you'd feel justified in completely ignoring what someone was saying just because they were rude, but would listen if they were not? (It doesn't count if what they're saying is so crazy that you'd ignore it even they were polite) Cause I can't think of any situations where I'd do that beyond something like a 2 page expletive filled screed that hurt to read and had no clear message in the first sentence or so, or where even if they were right it was such a minor thing that it didn't matter compared to how rude they were being. (And I can't even think of an actual example of that) And come to think of it, I tend to ignore *polite* unreadable 2 page screeds that don't have any clear message in the first sentence or so.
I'm not denying that some people who say they're interested in fighting various isms are trouble making and nasty, though I have a feeling I would classify a lot less people that way than you (I certainly wouldn't describe anyone I know that way, just some people I've encountered online) But even they are right from time to time.
EDIT: That said, I will pay *more* attention to someone who is polite, someone who's rude has to try harder to convince me. But I won't ignore them *completely*.
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Criticising how someone communicates is one thing, and yes, if someone is really rude you do have a right to go "Hey, that's rude! Stop it!". I wasn't clear, but what I was complaining about was people who rather than going "You being so nasty has annoyed me", or "you personally are too annoying for me to want to listen to", instead passive aggressively concern troll and expect to be thanked for it, or say "Since you are rude, you are clearly wrong", or take ONE person being rude about something as an excuse to ignore any later polite complaints.
But discounting/ignoring is a different thing. Just because someone is rude doesn't mean they're wrong. Are you saying you'd rather continue being wrong than take advice from someone who's rude? I mean there are certain kinds of behaviour which so strongly correlate with not being worth listening to that you're justified in ignoring people who use them (Unbelievably bad spelling, all caps flames, yelled from a car etc) but that's to save yourself effort/pain, not to punish them or because it's impossible that people communicating that way are wrong.
I don't know, am I the only person who has a huge gap between "More rude than I think is justified" and "So rude they're not worth engaging with"? There are LOTS of times where I think "that person is being unbelievably rude, and I don't like them for it, but I'll still try to figure out what they're saying and see if they have a point".
You've got me pondering a post to ask about other people's attitudes now. Can you give me some examples of hypothetical situations (preferably not about racism etc since I think the fact we have different attitudes about that could muddy things) where you'd feel justified in completely ignoring what someone was saying just because they were rude, but would listen if they were not? (It doesn't count if what they're saying is so crazy that you'd ignore it even they were polite) Cause I can't think of any situations where I'd do that beyond something like a 2 page expletive filled screed that hurt to read and had no clear message in the first sentence or so, or where even if they were right it was such a minor thing that it didn't matter compared to how rude they were being. (And I can't even think of an actual example of that) And come to think of it, I tend to ignore *polite* unreadable 2 page screeds that don't have any clear message in the first sentence or so.
I'm not denying that some people who say they're interested in fighting various isms are trouble making and nasty, though I have a feeling I would classify a lot less people that way than you (I certainly wouldn't describe anyone I know that way, just some people I've encountered online) But even they are right from time to time.
EDIT: That said, I will pay *more* attention to someone who is polite, someone who's rude has to try harder to convince me. But I won't ignore them *completely*.