As little as I like the female behavior you're talking about -- and believe me, it can grate -- I'd rather focus the criticism on the men in that scenario. After all, the problem doesn't arise because some women sometimes role-play a girl-on-girl scenario to arouse a man; the problem arises from men who use these male-centric instances of female bisexual behavior to falsely conclude that all most-to-all female bisexuality is of course for or about men.

To provide contrast, straight men in the poly community have (mostly) gotten the memo about "hot bi babes," and do a pretty good job educating and policing newcomers that bi women's sexualities should never be assumed as being about or for men. And this despite there being plenty of bi women in polydom who are happy to use their bisexuality to turn on a man.