I feel like I should say something about 30s and 40s musicals here, but you have completely encapsulated my thoughts. Movie: "Step turn kick turn MAKE FUN OF NATIVE AMERICANS turn sing!" Audience: "... WHAT?"

And I think that thing about drawing lines--like, it's important not to judge someone who won't watch a show or read a book because it crosses their particular line. Like, if someone couldn't watch Singin' in the Rain because in "Good Mornin'" there's that one HULA OUT OF NOWHERE, and that is more appropriation than they want to deal with, I shouldn't try to go, "But it's charming and funny and comparatively not that racist!" So if you like a show you know is problematic, it's totally fine! Just realize that someone else might be all, "I just can't watch Show X because of how they treat women."

Oh, and own the problematic bits. Because yeah.