I look at these women and see role models, and I think "*I* would like to be more like that."
I've had similar experiences, it made me question exactly what ideal I was striving towards.
"I would prefer that we do Z-thing because... [reason]"
Yes, that can be very helpful. I don't think I'll ever stop preferring low conflict interactions, but I've stopped so much confusing that preference with an absolute good.
Though in the other direction, sometimes people can try and excuse bad behaviour using that argument. For example fanfic fandom has an (on the whole very sensible) general rule that "If you don't like a kind of story, don't read it, don't go on long rants about how Noone Should Write That Crap". But I've then seen arguments along the lines of "You may not like me writing racist characters, but noones forcing you to read my fanfiction" etc.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I've had similar experiences, it made me question exactly what ideal I was striving towards.
"I would prefer that we do Z-thing because... [reason]"
Yes, that can be very helpful. I don't think I'll ever stop preferring low conflict interactions, but I've stopped so much confusing that preference with an absolute good.
Though in the other direction, sometimes people can try and excuse bad behaviour using that argument. For example fanfic fandom has an (on the whole very sensible) general rule that "If you don't like a kind of story, don't read it, don't go on long rants about how Noone Should Write That Crap". But I've then seen arguments along the lines of "You may not like me writing racist characters, but noones forcing you to read my fanfiction" etc.