This post bugs me for reasons which I'm not quite sure I can consciously explain yet. Perhaps when I figure out whether or not I fit your definition of "nice" I might have more to say.
It does feel a bit like you're conflating politeness (certain standards for the form of one's behaviour) with political correctness (adhering absolutely to certain ideologies and silencing those who speak out against them). Politeness seems to me like something which should be defended rather than criticised.
It also seems to me that your definition of "niceness" is quite independent from conflict avoidance and worrying about what others think - which are what I think some of your problems with niceness stem from. These are also two traits I certainly don't have, if only because I'm completely oblivious to what other people think of me. (Similarly I think the big reason that the geek social fallacies haven't affected me is that I don't like other people enough to have the kinds of friendship groups that suffer from geek social fallacies. My natural response to cliquey groups of friends is to run like hell.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It does feel a bit like you're conflating politeness (certain standards for the form of one's behaviour) with political correctness (adhering absolutely to certain ideologies and silencing those who speak out against them). Politeness seems to me like something which should be defended rather than criticised.
It also seems to me that your definition of "niceness" is quite independent from conflict avoidance and worrying about what others think - which are what I think some of your problems with niceness stem from. These are also two traits I certainly don't have, if only because I'm completely oblivious to what other people think of me. (Similarly I think the big reason that the geek social fallacies haven't affected me is that I don't like other people enough to have the kinds of friendship groups that suffer from geek social fallacies. My natural response to cliquey groups of friends is to run like hell.)