There is a marked difference between being a) polite and compassionate; and b) cowardly.
I too used to hide behind the concept of "niceness" to justify conflict-avoidance. Not that I don't still hide from conflict, but I don't dress it up as a virtue anymore.
Yeah, that's pretty much the way I see it.
I think you can disagree with someone and still be friends, or at least friendly, as long you don't excuse them simply because you're friends.
Disagree with, yes. But for example when I was in highschool one of my friends was frequently cruel to another of my friends. I told her to stop (in my at that time very passive way) but the rest of the time treated her as a good friend, and in retrospect I feel like I should have said "I'm not going to stay friends with you if you keep behaving that way".
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a) polite and compassionate; and
b) cowardly.
I too used to hide behind the concept of "niceness" to justify conflict-avoidance. Not that I don't still hide from conflict, but I don't dress it up as a virtue anymore.
Yeah, that's pretty much the way I see it.
I think you can disagree with someone and still be friends, or at least friendly, as long you don't excuse them simply because you're friends.
Disagree with, yes. But for example when I was in highschool one of my friends was frequently cruel to another of my friends. I told her to stop (in my at that time very passive way) but the rest of the time treated her as a good friend, and in retrospect I feel like I should have said "I'm not going to stay friends with you if you keep behaving that way".