The thing is, both my overwordiness and "niceness" are both coping mechanisms to deal with other flaws, namely the fact that I'm really bad at telling the difference between what's obvious to other people and what's only obvious to me, and the fact that I deal really badly with conflict. (nb this is an oversimplification)
If I write succinct posts (and I have tried this) people will misunderstand me, and I'll spend significantly more words clarifying than I would have if I'd just been a bit wordier in the first place, and the conversation will be spent figuring out what I meant to say rather than actually discussing it. If I'm not "nice" people will get angry and I will Freak The Hell Out. I'm not sure my post gets across just how much conflict freaks me out.
So I'm working on the way I deal with communication and conflict, and then every now and then trying out being a bit more succinct and curt etc and seeing what happens (as well as coming up with stuff like the disclaimers post which at least gets it out of the way), but the solution is not to rip the bandaid off without making sure the wound is healed. *resists the urge to soften that statement*
Also, for the last few months I've been trying to get a grip on life with my new, much stupider brain. My current level of "normal" is what I used to consider "Too stupid and tactless to be allowed on the internet", and it's caused me quite a few misunderstandings (not so much on my lj as elsewhere) which makes me extra cautious.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
*wishes I'd gotten around to making that teal dear icon*
The thing is, both my overwordiness and "niceness" are both coping mechanisms to deal with other flaws, namely the fact that I'm really bad at telling the difference between what's obvious to other people and what's only obvious to me, and the fact that I deal really badly with conflict. (nb this is an oversimplification)
If I write succinct posts (and I have tried this) people will misunderstand me, and I'll spend significantly more words clarifying than I would have if I'd just been a bit wordier in the first place, and the conversation will be spent figuring out what I meant to say rather than actually discussing it. If I'm not "nice" people will get angry and I will Freak The Hell Out. I'm not sure my post gets across just how much conflict freaks me out.
So I'm working on the way I deal with communication and conflict, and then every now and then trying out being a bit more succinct and curt etc and seeing what happens (as well as coming up with stuff like the disclaimers post which at least gets it out of the way), but the solution is not to rip the bandaid off without making sure the wound is healed. *resists the urge to soften that statement*
Also, for the last few months I've been trying to get a grip on life with my new, much stupider brain. My current level of "normal" is what I used to consider "Too stupid and tactless to be allowed on the internet", and it's caused me quite a few misunderstandings (not so much on my lj as elsewhere) which makes me extra cautious.
And hey, at least I use cut tags :P