Mm, I was oversimplifying a bit and once again conflating race ethnicity and culture as is unfortunately my wont. What I meant was that if there are racist or culturally intolerant stereotypes about your culture held by the people around you (and I do think this is worse when racism is involved, though I agree that's not all there is to it) it would presumably make figuring out how you feel about it yourself more fraught. I get the feeling this is a huge issue for australian aboriginal people: there's such a strong belief that their culture is outdated and useless and destructive. Of course you can cut yourself off from the rest of society and just to talk to people from your own cultural/ethnic group but that has it's own problems.

Are you arguing that cultural intolerance is sometimes justified? Because, no.

You can be against particular behaviours associated with a given culture (such as honour killings) without making assumptions about everyone in that culture or saying the whole culture is bad, especially since afaict(*) those behaviours are roughly equivalent to gay bashings in australia eg part of the culture and a sign of broader intolerance but still rare and considered too extreme by most people.

Anyway, my point was that if you're IN the culture, and don't want to give it up, it can be hard to work out how to deal with those aspects you don't like, ie the way you and I would feel about gay bashing.

(*)And I have no idea, really. But I do know I'm too ignorant to make generalisations or judgments.