yeah, our society really hits people with the crazy interlised stuff. and b seems to be more than most western culture, too; if you're not being actively abused, you should be happy in the marriage, whether or not you like the spouse! really! after all, how will you have babies with no husband? *sigh*

You could say "Oh but treating you like crap means he doesn't really love you", but that's really unhelpful, since the corollary is "If he loves you he isn't really treating you like crap".

huh. i can't get that logic to work. it seems like it's saying that the magic fairy dust of love makes one's actions mean something other than what they look like.

i'd say isntead that the corollary is "if someone really loves you sie will not treat you like crap."

and maybe it's important to define love. i like "the other person's well-being is just as important to you as your own".