I... haven't personally seen female-character stans whose pointed criticisms were motivated by smugness and exceptionalism rather than frustration or bitterness over the lack of fannish love for [female character(s)]. Although, like nerdiness, I'm positive that some must have channeled their frustration into smugness as a coping mechanism, and again similarly, it's a harmful one.

I do agree that it's probably more, mmm... the word isn't "practical" or "relevant" but rather a sort of intersection or filtering of the two, if that makes any sense... to emphasize the effects of actions and trends that perpetuate a sexist environment. In this matter, the two parties you list are not equatable.

I am leery, though, of statements like "telling them to stop their natural fannish self expression itself perpetuates sexism". There are so many ways in which a fan's "natural fannish self expression" could actually be totally 1) assholeish or 2) oppressive, even if she is a woman; I am not of the opinion that a (nonfictional) woman choosing to do whatever she wants is inherently antisexist. (It is of course a different story when one considers the different responses to her [action] and men's [similar action], but in at least this particular case, I am skeptical that men are being held to a lower standard.)