My entry to fandom was in the mid nineties, through Usenet Star Trek fandom, where 'slash' meant "presumptively-heterosexual characters having same-sex relationships/sex." It meant men or women.
The term 'femslash' came about later. And there was this period where I kept seeing people spell it 'femmeslash'. And even as 'femslash' I don't like the term, but as 'femmeslash' it's actually kind of triggering. It reminds me of the sort of woman/girl I'm 'supposed' to be and can't be and don't want to be but hate that I've 'failed' at being.
I remember some ten years ago having this argument with someone (Kanna Ophelia, maybe?) about terminology, and she was arguing that calling f/f slash was like saying "mankind means women too," whereas I was arguing that needing a special term for slash with women was like using 'pilotess' instead of 'pilot' when 'pilot' was gender neutral to begin with - making women into the distaff gender. We never found common ground.
I am not a femme. I am not a soubrette. I am not flirty and cute. Those things feel like a terrifying cage to me. (But of course I will take to the streets in support of women and girls - and men and boys - who do want to embody that gender identity.)
So while I still like reading fic about women being awesome together, I need to tread kind of carefully to avoid that. To avoid fic eroticising the concept of 'female' in a way that directly defines me out of that category. Because while I am kind-of sort-of genderqueer, not just plain cisfemale, that is my decision to make, not theirs.
My issues, let me show you them
The term 'femslash' came about later. And there was this period where I kept seeing people spell it 'femmeslash'. And even as 'femslash' I don't like the term, but as 'femmeslash' it's actually kind of triggering. It reminds me of the sort of woman/girl I'm 'supposed' to be and can't be and don't want to be but hate that I've 'failed' at being.
I remember some ten years ago having this argument with someone (Kanna Ophelia, maybe?) about terminology, and she was arguing that calling f/f slash was like saying "mankind means women too," whereas I was arguing that needing a special term for slash with women was like using 'pilotess' instead of 'pilot' when 'pilot' was gender neutral to begin with - making women into the distaff gender. We never found common ground.
I am not a femme. I am not a soubrette. I am not flirty and cute. Those things feel like a terrifying cage to me. (But of course I will take to the streets in support of women and girls - and men and boys - who do want to embody that gender identity.)
So while I still like reading fic about women being awesome together, I need to tread kind of carefully to avoid that. To avoid fic eroticising the concept of 'female' in a way that directly defines me out of that category. Because while I am kind-of sort-of genderqueer, not just plain cisfemale, that is my decision to make, not theirs.