Sorry I took so long to reply to this, I'm having a little trouble parsing your words, and want to reply to what you're actually saying. So, I apologise if I'm misunderstanding you!

You seem to be expressing disagreement, but I think we actually mostly agree.

I agree the rest of the world is not America. Especially since I'm not American, I'm Australian, and have had Americans assume Australia works just like America. My main point is that non-Japanese people like me need to be careful not to intepret Japanese media by the standards of our own cultures. When an American (or Australian) says "Love Hina is feminist because it has lots of female characters" they are ignoring the context.

There's nothing wrong with men enjoying yuri. But yuri made by men often doesn't appeal to me, as a woman. It is designed more to appeal to male tastes and is more often creepy and sexist (though not all of it is). I usually prefer yuri made by women.

I agree that some tumblr headcanons rely too much on stereotypes.