One of the really disquieting things about 50 Shades of Grey is not it's screwed up fictional power relationship, but the way E L James refuses to acknowledge the screwed-up-ness when discussing the book in real life.

A huge part of my relationship to fandom can be summed up as a paraphrase of that:

One of the really disquieting things about [anything that people fan over] is not its screwed up fictional power relationship, but the way [some fans] refuse to acknowledge the screwed-up-ness when discussing the [work] in real life.

The rest of my relationship to fandom can be summed up as: Keeping my mouth shut unless I either agree, or am explicitly invited to comment.