Reading this was amazing. Just amazing. I've also drawn some personal parallels, I feel like I might be at a place you were at years ago - or a similar place, and not sort of grown/evolved enough to make it past it yet. (The place where you say this: Basically: at this point I was convinced that there was bullying in social justice discussions, but didn't trust myself to draw the line on where it was exactly and as a result didn't trust myslf to decide who I could talk about it with.).
Also this: people angrily attacking certain kinds of inaccessibility in ways that make the conversation inaccessible to people with my kind of conflict anxiety. Which made me think of that post I reblogged relatively recently about competing access needs.
I'm sorry to be sectioning out particular things, when the whole post is just incredible, and thoughtful. I am very grateful that you do still post in places where people can see what you're thinking - even if it's under lock sometimes.
I wanted to ask: how do you handle conflict aversion these days? And is it as strong as it used to be? Do you think that some of the aspects of bullying in these discussions made it stronger or worse?
Do you have any particular coping strategies for dealing with the saturation of these sorts of discussions in arenas like DW / Tumblr, that isn't necessarily cutting yourself off entirely or unfollowing?
If you don't have the energy/inclination to respond, please don't worry, but I am curious to know how you sort of learned to cope with this, or the strategies you've adopted (or even adopted and then discarded). I know you mention unfriending and unfollowing, I was just...curious, as someone who is also conflict averse.
Once again, thank you so much for posting this, and for all the links too, I am so so appreciative. Given I didn't get to know you online until fairly 'recently' there's so much good material here to read through and understand, and also amazing that you were able to write this holy crap awesome post :D
no subject
Also this: people angrily attacking certain kinds of inaccessibility in ways that make the conversation inaccessible to people with my kind of conflict anxiety. Which made me think of that post I reblogged relatively recently about competing access needs.
I'm sorry to be sectioning out particular things, when the whole post is just incredible, and thoughtful. I am very grateful that you do still post in places where people can see what you're thinking - even if it's under lock sometimes.
I wanted to ask: how do you handle conflict aversion these days? And is it as strong as it used to be? Do you think that some of the aspects of bullying in these discussions made it stronger or worse?
Do you have any particular coping strategies for dealing with the saturation of these sorts of discussions in arenas like DW / Tumblr, that isn't necessarily cutting yourself off entirely or unfollowing?
If you don't have the energy/inclination to respond, please don't worry, but I am curious to know how you sort of learned to cope with this, or the strategies you've adopted (or even adopted and then discarded). I know you mention unfriending and unfollowing, I was just...curious, as someone who is also conflict averse.
Once again, thank you so much for posting this, and for all the links too, I am so so appreciative. Given I didn't get to know you online until fairly 'recently' there's so much good material here to read through and understand, and also amazing that you were able to write this holy crap awesome post :D