Yes, this. One thing that's really clear about manipulative/abusive people is that they often don't want to change. Being abusive and manipulative has worked for them so far. So even when they go to therapy or learn these tools, they just use that training to be better at manipulating and abusing people.
I think that people can change! I think that people also have to have motivation to change within themselves.
... One thing that's kind of related is how redemption stories play out in books or TV shows or movies, the people who go through that arc almost always wind up being forgiven and reconciling with the people they hurt. But that's fiction! "Closure" feels good, but it isn't really necessary. And TV shows have a reason to keep an actor around interacting with the rest of the cast. So we're trained to expect these neat stories around redemption when like so many things on TV it doesn't work like that.
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I think that people can change! I think that people also have to have motivation to change within themselves.
... One thing that's kind of related is how redemption stories play out in books or TV shows or movies, the people who go through that arc almost always wind up being forgiven and reconciling with the people they hurt. But that's fiction! "Closure" feels good, but it isn't really necessary. And TV shows have a reason to keep an actor around interacting with the rest of the cast. So we're trained to expect these neat stories around redemption when like so many things on TV it doesn't work like that.