Expecting people who've been hurt to have to advocate themselves, to find the strength to take the stand against that exposure, knowing that it risks negative reactions from other bystanders as well as potentially provoking someone they may not yet have been able to stop fearing?

That's not really okay for me.

Nor should it be. Modern 'Western' society is deeply messed up about abuse and how it treats victims.

My sympathies for what you have/are going through, and my respect for the amount of strength you've shown so far. May you always have at least as much as you need.