Characters that are or "feel" non binary to me

[sqbr]

Reading this post by a non-binary person about allegorical vs literal representation got me thinking about my own complex feelings about various characters that either are or feel non-binary, and I was curious to poke at my preferences and compare notes with other non binary folk.

So! This is based very much on my own personal feelings. These are not necessarily recommendations (some of these canons are Not Good), and other non-binary people's feelings may differ, especially those who aren't afab and multi-gender. Also the distinctions here are often pretty fuzzy.

First, characters that I have personally connected with in a non-binary way, where I get like...gender euphoria and a sense of YES, THAT.

Canonically non-binary:
I'm including characters where the terminology doesn't come up because it's in a period setting etc, but it feels to me like the writer intends the character to be read as non-binary.

• Stevonnie and the other Steven fusions from Steven Universe
  
• Double Trouble from She-ra
  
• Kaede from Samurai Love Ballad: Party
  
• Taichi from Yuureitou
  
• Shi Qing Xuan in some Heaven Official's Blessing fanfic
  
• Yuta from Stars Align
  
• Davepetasprite^2 from Homestuck
  

Act in a very non-binary way, but canon isn't explicit:
These are characters who, say, switch between gender identities, but it doesn't feel to me like the writer is aware of/engaging with a non-binary identity. Which gets iffy when we're mostly talking about works from other cultures with different approaches to gender, but this is just how it feels to me.

• Najimi from Komi Can't Communicate
  
• Shi Qing Xuan from Heaven Official's Blessing (who can also be easily read as a cis man or trans woman)
  
• Rimuru from That Time I Reincarnated as a Slime, though I didn't like the canon enough to watch much
  

Ungendered aliens/robots etc:

• Shale from Dragon Age: Origins until she decides to be a woman again for very binarist reasons :/
  

Canonically binary gendered characters who give me some non-binary feels:
Not necessarily a LOT of feels, but some.

• Lance, Tei and Nameless from Nameless. They feel like dolls acting like men because they think it will make their owner like them. Also, Lance cross-dresses.
  
• Benito from Backstage Pass. It's just a vibe, and the voice actor is non-binary.
  
• Viola from Twelfth Night, who has a whole separate male identity.
  
• Plenty more I'm forgetting, I'm sure.
  

Canonically non-binary/genderless characters I am ambivalent about:
I may love the character in and of themselves, but my reaction to their gender is generally a vague "that's nice" rather than an intense ping of recognition.

• Blanche from Pokémon Go
  
• Frisk and Chara etc from Undertale
  
• Zaheen from Verdant Skies
  
• Asra from the Arcana
  
• Desire from the Sandman
  
• Roswell from The Adventure Zone
  
• Janet from the Good Place
  
• Various from Good Omens
  
• Alex Cyprin from Astoria: Fate's Kiss
  
• Vaarsuvius from Order of the Stick
  
• Tilly Birch from Questionable Content
  
• Various from The Imperial Radch series
  
• Min from Butterfly Soup
  
• AuDy from Friends at the Table
  
• All the she/her using gems from Steven Universe
  

Canonically non-binary/genderless characters that left me feeling alienated:

• The asari from Mass Effect. Feels like the writers see them as women.
  
• Most fic I've read where characters are non binary.
  
• Elliot from On a Sunbeam (more because of the general approach to gender in the story)
  
• Charity from Unmasked by the Marquess (though I still enjoyed the story)
  
• Grace from That Potent Alchemy
  
• Tom from a Boy called Cin
  

Conclusions:

WOW so I was kinda expecting this but there's some VERY obvious trends.

I generally engage with characters who are some combo of (a) a literal fusion of male and female characters (b) Act out multiple genders as distinct roles (c) physically transform from a binary gendered form into an androgynous one, or between male and female forms, and like it (d) Have INTENSE GENDER FEELINGS
These are the closest to capturing my experience as someone who has a lot of gender Feels, and wants to identify and present as multiple genders, but also sometimes likes the idea of an androgynous body.

I also seem more inclined to connect to amab non-binary characters and I'm really not sure what's up with that. Maybe because they can be feminine and have it be read as a trans thing?

I am generally ambivalent about non-binary characters who use (one of) he/him or she/her pronouns, don't really care about gender, or who the story avoids gendering. I'm really glad these sorts of characters exist, and enjoy them, but more because it feels like the story is making space for non-binary people in general, including those like me, and not because I connect with that particular character's experience of gender.

Also Janet and most of the Good Omens angels and demons don't feel very non-binary to me, even while they're not entirely binary gendered, like they're just...off in their own quasi-gendered non-human category. But I can see why other people feel differently.

After a bunch of thought, asides from the asari (who are written in an actively binarist way) I think the defining feature of the characters who alienate me is that they're written by people very obviously trying to Represent Diverse Genders, but something feels off. At first I thought it was afab non-binary women who use she/her pronouns, but I'm fine with Min from Butterfly Soup. Meanwhile Elliot from On a Sunbeam uses they/them but within a story which actively erases amab people and men, making me feel like the author sees non-binary people as women-lite. And Tom from a Boy Called Cin gets these long Educational Rants About Gender And Sex, which aren't bad but just...made the characters feel more like Symbols Of The Trans Experience, and since it wasn't my trans experience it felt weird. Maybe it would have felt weird even if it was my trans experience!

Going back to the post that inspired me: I'm honestly not sure If I would like the not-canonically-nb characters as much if they were written as canonically non-binary but otherwise stayed the same, or if things I overlook because it's not meant to be representation would start bugging me.

So, fellow non binary peeps: Are your feelings similar? Different? I imagine agender people, non-binary men, and non-binary women might have very flipped about preferences compared to me. And I know not everyone even likes connecting with characters like themselves in this way.

Binary gendered people are also welcome to comment, which includes suggesting things you think handle non-binary gender well, but please step carefully and don't mention something as having clicked for you personally without also mentioning that you're binary gendered.

If you have complicated What Even Is Gender feels then...use your best judgement I guess? Your opinion is still definitely interesting to me.