After reading your post, I'm starting to think of "growing up" as a continued process of refining skills, both emotional and practical, and of making choices, some of which relate to age and some of which aren't. This is a somewhat sloppy definition, and I'm not quite satisfied with it, but I like conceptualizing it as a process with no fixed end goal.

I've mentored a teen as an adult before, and a lot of what we were doing was modeling through our own behavior and lives, being unconditionally supportive, and providing a sounding board that was neither an authority figure or a peer in the same circle. We were supposed to do a lot of listening, and we generally were supposed to ask questions instead of giving advice (if we could resist the temptation :p), but the very act of asking questions is a prompt to look more deeply into a situation and to practice emotional skills.

As a teen, I didn't have adult role models, outside of fandom/roleplaying spaces, but even that was very helpful. Having adults who _liked_ me and had confidence in my ability to deal with things was great, as were having people who I trusted to be on my side.

And as an adult, I've definitely found a lot of value in knowing older people and seeing the choices they make and their perspectives.

I also think a part of the process for me has also been looking back at some of my earlier role models and taking the new things I've learned since then and going, "hmm, not like that." New information and new perspectives are good.