Yes, me too! Also the bit about how my body does plenty on its own to bring femme to mind, which is part of why I lean masc in presentation a lot when I'm Doing Gender (as opposed to when I'm just schlubbing around the house, lol). I think if I looked more masc physically on my own I might be more comfortable exploring femme clothing choices again (but also I'm not sure if I'm masc& enough to want my body to do the masc part of the signalling). And while I'm definitely Not A Femme|, I'm also Not A Man|, even though claiming space for the part of me that's at least somewhat man& brings me joy. There's some femme& in there that I'm still figuring out -- a lot of my gender journey has involved being able to say no to enforced femininity, but there's still some parts of it that I like for itself even though accessing it is complicated these days.
And this:
back when I identified as a woman I was really bothered by the assumption that every single wlw was, if not butch| or femme|, then at least sitting in a specific static position on the butch| to femme| continuum.
Yes yes yes yes yes. It fucking bothered me. Before I felt comfortable claiming nonbinary for myself in general, I remember literally saying to someone "If butch and femme are genders, which they are for some people in our social group, then on that scale, I'm... basically non-binary here."
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Yes, me too! Also the bit about how my body does plenty on its own to bring femme to mind, which is part of why I lean masc in presentation a lot when I'm Doing Gender (as opposed to when I'm just schlubbing around the house, lol). I think if I looked more masc physically on my own I might be more comfortable exploring femme clothing choices again (but also I'm not sure if I'm masc& enough to want my body to do the masc part of the signalling). And while I'm definitely Not A Femme|, I'm also Not A Man|, even though claiming space for the part of me that's at least somewhat man& brings me joy. There's some femme& in there that I'm still figuring out -- a lot of my gender journey has involved being able to say no to enforced femininity, but there's still some parts of it that I like for itself even though accessing it is complicated these days.
And this:
Yes yes yes yes yes. It fucking bothered me. Before I felt comfortable claiming nonbinary for myself in general, I remember literally saying to someone "If butch and femme are genders, which they are for some people in our social group, then on that scale, I'm... basically non-binary here."