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So there's apparently these teen vampire romance books called "Twilight" which are very popular and amusingly crap. I have seen them (and their crazy fandom) made fun of here and there, with mocking references to "sparkly vampires". I assumed this just meant girlified and safe but no they actually sparkle (link via ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
metaquotes) *sighs*
Why yes, I have been filling the lonely days at home sick with fandomy websites and dvds. *goes to kill time some more*
metaquotes) *sighs*Why yes, I have been filling the lonely days at home sick with fandomy websites and dvds. *goes to kill time some more*
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Look the books up on Wikipedia. They are horrendously terrible.
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*Unhealthy obsessions and relationships, and Mormon attitudes towards marriage and feminism, woo-hoo!
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Wikipedia summary of (part of) book two : Bella and Alice rush to Italy and save Edward just in time. The three of them meet with Aro, one of the Volturi leaders, who discusses Bella's future and reveals that only two options exist: 1) Bella, as a human who knows of the existence of vampires, must die, or 2) Bella must be turned into a vampire herself. Edward agrees to neither, but Alice shows Aro that, despite Edward's refusal, Bella will indeed become a vampire in the future, and so he agrees to let them go.
They return to Forks and Edward explains that he only left Bella in order to protect her. They meet with Edward's family and everyone "votes" over Bella's mortality, stating their opinion on if she should become a vampire. All of them except Rosalie and Edward agree that she should be changed. Edward gets angry, but eventually agrees that Bella should be changed after graduation, a few weeks away. He even says that he will change her himself, if she agrees to marry him first. Bella is terrified, but considers it.
part of book three : Later that night ... Bella agrees to marry Edward on one condition: that he sleeps with her before he turns her into a vampire. Edward initially refuses, explaining to Bella that he could very easily kill her. Eventually, upon realizing how much it means to Bella, he says that he is willing to try in the future as long as they are married first. Bella expresses her worry of what other people will think if she gets married so young, as she remembers the problems that marrying fresh out of high school caused her mother. However, she realizes that spending the rest of eternity with Edward is more important to her than anything else, and so when Edward formally proposes to her minutes later, she accepts.
.....
Edward announces that he's decided to break off the deal, after seeing that Bella is trying to make everyone happy but herself. He says they needn't get married before sleeping together, as she had wished.
However, Bella states that she wants to do things the "right" way, and agrees to marry him first. Edward places the ring back on her finger
Ah, I cannot find that thread in f_w that explained things. Maybe it was not f_w! Oh well. BASICALLY: no sex before marriage, but dry humping is okay (kissing is not, because Edwards has vampire venom saliva or something, and this one time when they kissed, Bella's heart stopped beating), and is it absolutely A-OKAY!!! that Bella has absolutely zero desires outside "be with Edward for the reeeest of my life!!!!!!", zero care for anyone who isn't Edward, zero thoughts on what she could do with her life except BE WITH EDWAAAAAARD, oh and also it's MORE THAN OKAY to, within a few weeks, fall in true love with the creepy guy who's stalking you and watching you sleep, and then spend the rest of your life getting into trouble and being rescued by said stud muffin because heeeeee's your shiny knight in armour, tee hee.
TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!!!! CLICK ME!!! (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v603/annepackrat/random/vampireed.jpg)
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Yes? And? Everyone knows that once a woman gets married she loses all independent thought and becomes a happy little appendage of her husband. Kind of like a male angler fish.
*brain combines angler fish reproduction with romance tropes*
*goes to very bad place*
*cough*
Yeah, "romance heroes are actually stalkers" is one of those rather icky truths people pint out from time to time. The whole "Anything a guy does from a motivation of love is ok, up to and including rape" attitude is just..blarg.
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*goes to very bad place*
The place my brain goes to is a novel by Jo Walton called 'Tooth and Claw', which is kind of a pastiche of tropes from 18th century romance novels - only it's set on an alien world, so that the characters are not H. sapiens and the odd things people do in romance novels actually have, in this case, genuine biological or sociological underpinnings that don't exist in humans.
(I don't think there's anything like angler fish reproduction in it, though: at least, not in the part I've read so far.)
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free time?
Re: free time?
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