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On inappropriate envy
Two things you should not say to someone whose life is significantly affected by a medical condition:
1) Wow, I wish I could life your life!
2) If I had to live like that I would die
I've had quite a bit of the latter when I tell people I can't eat much chocolate etc, it get a bit frustrating. I don't mean "That must be annoying", I'm talking a reaction of intense pity and shock. (It's not that bad!)
But now I have chronic fatigue I get a lot more of the former. To anyone who wants to spend all day laying around doing nothing? Do it! What's that, you can't afford it? You'd feel guilty? People might give you crap? That doesn't stop me, don't let it stop you!
Still, thinking about this reminded me to look up![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dot_gimp_snark. Also Lauredlh has a good post about chronic fatigue and invisible disabilities here.
Tactless oaf that I am, I have almost certainly said both of these things multiple times to different people, especially since most of the time it's just people reacting in "Oh god I don't know what to say" panic, which is a common state for me. So, you know, if you've done it to me I probably just accepted it as karma :)
1) Wow, I wish I could life your life!
2) If I had to live like that I would die
I've had quite a bit of the latter when I tell people I can't eat much chocolate etc, it get a bit frustrating. I don't mean "That must be annoying", I'm talking a reaction of intense pity and shock. (It's not that bad!)
But now I have chronic fatigue I get a lot more of the former. To anyone who wants to spend all day laying around doing nothing? Do it! What's that, you can't afford it? You'd feel guilty? People might give you crap? That doesn't stop me, don't let it stop you!
Still, thinking about this reminded me to look up
dot_gimp_snark. Also Lauredlh has a good post about chronic fatigue and invisible disabilities here.Tactless oaf that I am, I have almost certainly said both of these things multiple times to different people, especially since most of the time it's just people reacting in "Oh god I don't know what to say" panic, which is a common state for me. So, you know, if you've done it to me I probably just accepted it as karma :)
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also, things not to say to someone with Crohn's Disease:
"i wish i could lose weight like you!"
>:|
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if i recall correctly, i was too stunned at the time to say anything much (plus it was my then-boyfriend's mother who made the comment. but, yeah. bad. i was and looked) pretty sick at the time.
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I've had a lot of my bowel removed and somehow have found myself gain 5kg suddenly in completely the wrong location and it has caused issues. Now I just want it gone and it doesn't want to shift. yet.
I've been anoyed with people comments like 'i'd die if...' when they relate to illness too, and being 'mostly' and invisible illness, if I wasn't vocal about it (I'm pretty sure that over 90% of the people that know me, know I have crohn's, and know I have a bag, and probably know more than they'd like to know about both) most wouldn't know i had any illness and just think I'm very slack. (doesn't help that I am also slack and lazy, but not the point...)
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Exactly! :)