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femmeconne asked me for some examples of times I'd screwed up talking about race on the internet, which I decided was justification for this tl;dr screed (which I've been working on for ages) I've done "not X" for pretty much every "Do X" listed here, this is basically everything I wish someone had told me a few years ago :)
EDIT: This lays it out much better, read it instead if you like :) Race Relations 101 - What if I screw up?
This is aimed largely at white people who are against racism, and interested in getting involved with all the anti-racist discussion on lj, but are afraid of messing up. Other people may find it interesting and are welcome to comment, but keep that purpose in mind. The other sort of people who might find it useful are those who are thrust into discussions about racism against their will, because they or their friends end up in the middle of some imbroglio. I'm not really in a position to offer any particular advice on that, but I think a lot of this might be helpful.
Terminology: I use "Anti-racists" to mean everyone who is working against racism regardless of ethnicity, while "POC" means people who are not white.
Note: as someone with a long history of messing stuff up I am very open to suggestions and criticism. Also: there are links at the end, you may like them more.
Step -1: Figure out your goals
What are you planning to get out of this conversation? Are your actions really working towards that goal? Have you considered the likely consequences of your actions, and whether it's all worth it?
(I know most lists don't go to to negative numbers, but it's my list :P)
Step 0: Acknowledge that racism is a significant problem
If you don't think that racism is worth fighting against, even in principle, then this post is not for you. Go away.
If you think it is, but it's not your first priority, or you have problem with some of the ways people fight it, fair enough. But keep in mind that anti-racists are fighting an important and difficult struggle, so if you're going to engage with or conflict with them you need to consider whether your actions have a positive or neutral effect in fighting racism, or if they are going to, in effect, perpetuate racism by stymying it's opponents without achieving anything constructive.
Also, racism has a hugely negative effect on POC, in a way which is difficult to understand if you're white. It is very, very easy to seriously hurt people's feelings or otherwise make their life more difficult without meaning to, especially if you blunder in without knowing what you're talking about.
Which is not to say you shouldn't ever get involved: the way I see it, as long as you try your best, are willing to learn, and do more good than harm it averages out ok. But when in doubt, lurk moar. See also Baby-stepping away from racism: A guide for white people.
Step 1: Don't expect a free ride
There's no reason you have to be dedicated to anti-racism if you just want to read these discussions (there's a reason I designed this so that people could skim the headings if they just wanted to know the gist of my argument :)) But if you're going to get involved and expect people to respect and pay attention to what you have to say then you have to be willing to put in some effort yourself. Good intentions by themselves are not enough.
1 b) Shut up
In general, I recommend the advice in Baby-stepping away from racism: A guide for white people, to read LOTS before you speak (and everything else: that post is much better than mine :)). I have some links at the end.
When you get into this stuff your first reaction is going to be to flail loudly, and make a whole bunch of arguments which everyone goes through at this stage(*). Which is fine, but you need to work through that by yourself where you're not going to irritate other people and get yelled at. I have a lot of unfinished posts I wrote in a text editor, saved, looked at the next day, and decided not to post after all. I also ranted at my husband and friends, and learned about feminism so I could explore similar ideas there without offending people.
Also, if you have a question? Chances are it's been asked before, and you can save everyone a lot of effort by looking into it yourself rather than bugging people who have better things to do than explain the same concepts over and over. And if you read through the comments on blog post etc there's a fair chance you can see someone else make the same comments you were thinking and get the appropriate (or not) reply.
(*)I found this a bit galling to accept since I like to feel like a unique snowflake, but looking at the discussions I really wasn't. And even when I had a valid point to make I wasn't at a point where I could express it in a way that wasn't going to put people off from engaging with me.
Step 2: Learn the lingo
EDIT: So it's been pointed out to me that not everyone uses these definitions, even in university level race-analysis. But certainly they come up enough to be worth being familiar with.
The two most basic concepts here are
Race=predjudice plus power and
White privilige
In general you'll pick up a lot by reading (see my links at the end) You may need to read the same ideas multiple times in slightly different formats before they click.
"But Dr Sophie!" you say "I don't like those definitions! And anyway, why should I have to learn a lot of arbitrary academic jargon to have a practical discussion about a real world issue?"
Well, first off, like it or not those are the terms most people use (online at least), and if you want to get anywhere without being mired in misunderstanding, you need to be able to use and understand them.
Second, I felt that way myself, but decided to beat them at their own game by learning the terminology so I would be in a better position to explain it's flaws...and by the end of that process I agreed with it and found it really useful.
Step 3: You will be accused of racism. Deal with it (it's not as bad as you think)
Having followed step 2, you will be aware that everyone is racist. The trick is becoming aware of how racism works and trying to minimise actions which perpetuate it.
Thus, sometimes when another person says "That was racist" they just mean "Hey, fellow anti-racist, let me give you a handy hint you might not have thought of!" and mean no offense to you personally.
Other times they think you should have known better and really are annoyed, but will probably still accept a genuine "I'm sorry, I didn't realise/wasn't thinking, I won't do that again"
Unfortunately, noone likes to be criticised, racism is a touchy subject, and many actions which perpetuate racism seem perfectly innocuous to your average person. So your (and my) first reaction is likely defensive anger.
Luckily, this is the internet. You can walk away, calm down, maybe write a private venty post, and then rationally think about what happened. (If you are not the sort of person who can do this, you might want to reconsider ever discussing race with anyone :P)
Even if you still think you're in the right, be polite (see step 0), consider how your post might have looked (especially given the huge number of sneaky racist trolls out there) and never forget that you might just not be able to see what you're doing wrong. I once spent several months feeling righteously indignant at someone for falsely accusing me of racism and then suddenly realised her actions made sense in context, and was thus very glad all I'd said was "I think you've misunderstood what I was trying to say, but agree with you in principle".
The ratios of "People who think they're not being racist but are" vs "People who are unfairly accused of racism" and "Suffering caused by racism" vs "Suffering caused by anti-racists" are so absurdly, unimaginably high that I think it's reasonable that we be willing to bite out tongues from time to time. If you're not, see (0) and (1).
All that said: Everyone does racist things from time to time. If you make a genuine effort to be anti-racist and deal reasonably with criticism then in my experience people are willing to forgive the odd slip-up (Although "forgive" does not mean "let slide")
See also How Not To Be Insane When Accused Of Racism (A Guide For White People)
Step 4: Consider the context (lj-based)
This is written assuming you're on lj, since that's where I'm based. Other places online are similar. I assume :)
The first time I tried writing this post, this section blew out into Stay On Topic. But really: stay on topic. Read the userinfo.
If a community describes itself as "a POC-safe space" or "POC-centered" etc then it's not for you, and in some ways everything you say is off-topic so it better be really worth saying. In such communities, or on the lj of a POC you don't know(*), you need to ask yourself "Is there any chance that what I'm saying is cluelessly racist or derailing?", and if so you probably shouldn't say it. POC deal with enough of that elsewhere and probably won't have much patience for it in their private space (see Step (0)). If you have something you need to get off your chest, write it elsewhere.
Depending on your friendslist, a post on your lj can be a much safer place to start, and if you're worried about the reactions of random strangers then lock it. This may stop (or at least reduce) you hurting people's feelings or getting yelled at, but can also limit the potential for you to unlearn your racist assumptions and get to a place where you can discuss racism with people other than your flist. And of course racism is a touchy enough topic that they might get narky at you anyway, and you'll probably spend a lot of time going over the things from Step (1).
Something I found really helpful when I started getting involved in this stuff were race meta posts onmetafandom, and other random race-meta posts I encountered here and there. Generally, the author had written the post with the intention of inviting comments from strangers, and they were open to moderately newbie-ish replies. The trick is of course judging how open they are, especially, as I said above, if they're a POC, but if you follow all the steps above you hopefully won't do too badly. And yes, that's is the sort of post I'm trying to write here :)
Another option is anti-racist communities which are more aimed at white people (or at least not just for POC) In the long run, just hanging out with other white anti-racists can be very limiting, but it's definitely a good place to start. The standard is still going to be a lot higher than your average lj, so make sure you've followed Steps 0, 1, 2, and 3. I'm a member ofdebunkingwhite which I've found quite helpful and interesting overall (though it's not a very cosy place), but there's a number of others out there.
(*)If you do know them then obviously you still don't want to say anything racist, but how they take what you say will depend a lot on the nature of your relationship
Links for further reading
Angry Black Woman's required reading
My race tag
My 101 tag
The Great Race Discussion Linkspam
To everyone who wants to "learn" something about racism
femmeconne asked me for some examples of times I'd screwed up talking about race on the internet, which I decided was justification for this tl;dr screed (which I've been working on for ages) I've done "not X" for pretty much every "Do X" listed here, this is basically everything I wish someone had told me a few years ago :) EDIT: This lays it out much better, read it instead if you like :) Race Relations 101 - What if I screw up?
This is aimed largely at white people who are against racism, and interested in getting involved with all the anti-racist discussion on lj, but are afraid of messing up. Other people may find it interesting and are welcome to comment, but keep that purpose in mind. The other sort of people who might find it useful are those who are thrust into discussions about racism against their will, because they or their friends end up in the middle of some imbroglio. I'm not really in a position to offer any particular advice on that, but I think a lot of this might be helpful.
Terminology: I use "Anti-racists" to mean everyone who is working against racism regardless of ethnicity, while "POC" means people who are not white.
Note: as someone with a long history of messing stuff up I am very open to suggestions and criticism. Also: there are links at the end, you may like them more.
Step -1: Figure out your goals
What are you planning to get out of this conversation? Are your actions really working towards that goal? Have you considered the likely consequences of your actions, and whether it's all worth it?
(I know most lists don't go to to negative numbers, but it's my list :P)
Step 0: Acknowledge that racism is a significant problem
If you don't think that racism is worth fighting against, even in principle, then this post is not for you. Go away.
If you think it is, but it's not your first priority, or you have problem with some of the ways people fight it, fair enough. But keep in mind that anti-racists are fighting an important and difficult struggle, so if you're going to engage with or conflict with them you need to consider whether your actions have a positive or neutral effect in fighting racism, or if they are going to, in effect, perpetuate racism by stymying it's opponents without achieving anything constructive.
Also, racism has a hugely negative effect on POC, in a way which is difficult to understand if you're white. It is very, very easy to seriously hurt people's feelings or otherwise make their life more difficult without meaning to, especially if you blunder in without knowing what you're talking about.
Which is not to say you shouldn't ever get involved: the way I see it, as long as you try your best, are willing to learn, and do more good than harm it averages out ok. But when in doubt, lurk moar. See also Baby-stepping away from racism: A guide for white people.
Step 1: Don't expect a free ride
There's no reason you have to be dedicated to anti-racism if you just want to read these discussions (there's a reason I designed this so that people could skim the headings if they just wanted to know the gist of my argument :)) But if you're going to get involved and expect people to respect and pay attention to what you have to say then you have to be willing to put in some effort yourself. Good intentions by themselves are not enough.
1 b) Shut up
In general, I recommend the advice in Baby-stepping away from racism: A guide for white people, to read LOTS before you speak (and everything else: that post is much better than mine :)). I have some links at the end.
When you get into this stuff your first reaction is going to be to flail loudly, and make a whole bunch of arguments which everyone goes through at this stage(*). Which is fine, but you need to work through that by yourself where you're not going to irritate other people and get yelled at. I have a lot of unfinished posts I wrote in a text editor, saved, looked at the next day, and decided not to post after all. I also ranted at my husband and friends, and learned about feminism so I could explore similar ideas there without offending people.
Also, if you have a question? Chances are it's been asked before, and you can save everyone a lot of effort by looking into it yourself rather than bugging people who have better things to do than explain the same concepts over and over. And if you read through the comments on blog post etc there's a fair chance you can see someone else make the same comments you were thinking and get the appropriate (or not) reply.
(*)I found this a bit galling to accept since I like to feel like a unique snowflake, but looking at the discussions I really wasn't. And even when I had a valid point to make I wasn't at a point where I could express it in a way that wasn't going to put people off from engaging with me.
Step 2: Learn the lingo
EDIT: So it's been pointed out to me that not everyone uses these definitions, even in university level race-analysis. But certainly they come up enough to be worth being familiar with.
The two most basic concepts here are
Race=predjudice plus power and
White privilige
In general you'll pick up a lot by reading (see my links at the end) You may need to read the same ideas multiple times in slightly different formats before they click.
"But Dr Sophie!" you say "I don't like those definitions! And anyway, why should I have to learn a lot of arbitrary academic jargon to have a practical discussion about a real world issue?"
Well, first off, like it or not those are the terms most people use (online at least), and if you want to get anywhere without being mired in misunderstanding, you need to be able to use and understand them.
Second, I felt that way myself, but decided to beat them at their own game by learning the terminology so I would be in a better position to explain it's flaws...and by the end of that process I agreed with it and found it really useful.
Step 3: You will be accused of racism. Deal with it (it's not as bad as you think)
Having followed step 2, you will be aware that everyone is racist. The trick is becoming aware of how racism works and trying to minimise actions which perpetuate it.
Thus, sometimes when another person says "That was racist" they just mean "Hey, fellow anti-racist, let me give you a handy hint you might not have thought of!" and mean no offense to you personally.
Other times they think you should have known better and really are annoyed, but will probably still accept a genuine "I'm sorry, I didn't realise/wasn't thinking, I won't do that again"
Unfortunately, noone likes to be criticised, racism is a touchy subject, and many actions which perpetuate racism seem perfectly innocuous to your average person. So your (and my) first reaction is likely defensive anger.
Luckily, this is the internet. You can walk away, calm down, maybe write a private venty post, and then rationally think about what happened. (If you are not the sort of person who can do this, you might want to reconsider ever discussing race with anyone :P)
Even if you still think you're in the right, be polite (see step 0), consider how your post might have looked (especially given the huge number of sneaky racist trolls out there) and never forget that you might just not be able to see what you're doing wrong. I once spent several months feeling righteously indignant at someone for falsely accusing me of racism and then suddenly realised her actions made sense in context, and was thus very glad all I'd said was "I think you've misunderstood what I was trying to say, but agree with you in principle".
The ratios of "People who think they're not being racist but are" vs "People who are unfairly accused of racism" and "Suffering caused by racism" vs "Suffering caused by anti-racists" are so absurdly, unimaginably high that I think it's reasonable that we be willing to bite out tongues from time to time. If you're not, see (0) and (1).
All that said: Everyone does racist things from time to time. If you make a genuine effort to be anti-racist and deal reasonably with criticism then in my experience people are willing to forgive the odd slip-up (Although "forgive" does not mean "let slide")
See also How Not To Be Insane When Accused Of Racism (A Guide For White People)
Step 4: Consider the context (lj-based)
This is written assuming you're on lj, since that's where I'm based. Other places online are similar. I assume :)
The first time I tried writing this post, this section blew out into Stay On Topic. But really: stay on topic. Read the userinfo.
If a community describes itself as "a POC-safe space" or "POC-centered" etc then it's not for you, and in some ways everything you say is off-topic so it better be really worth saying. In such communities, or on the lj of a POC you don't know(*), you need to ask yourself "Is there any chance that what I'm saying is cluelessly racist or derailing?", and if so you probably shouldn't say it. POC deal with enough of that elsewhere and probably won't have much patience for it in their private space (see Step (0)). If you have something you need to get off your chest, write it elsewhere.
Depending on your friendslist, a post on your lj can be a much safer place to start, and if you're worried about the reactions of random strangers then lock it. This may stop (or at least reduce) you hurting people's feelings or getting yelled at, but can also limit the potential for you to unlearn your racist assumptions and get to a place where you can discuss racism with people other than your flist. And of course racism is a touchy enough topic that they might get narky at you anyway, and you'll probably spend a lot of time going over the things from Step (1).
Something I found really helpful when I started getting involved in this stuff were race meta posts on
metafandom, and other random race-meta posts I encountered here and there. Generally, the author had written the post with the intention of inviting comments from strangers, and they were open to moderately newbie-ish replies. The trick is of course judging how open they are, especially, as I said above, if they're a POC, but if you follow all the steps above you hopefully won't do too badly. And yes, that's is the sort of post I'm trying to write here :)Another option is anti-racist communities which are more aimed at white people (or at least not just for POC) In the long run, just hanging out with other white anti-racists can be very limiting, but it's definitely a good place to start. The standard is still going to be a lot higher than your average lj, so make sure you've followed Steps 0, 1, 2, and 3. I'm a member of
debunkingwhite which I've found quite helpful and interesting overall (though it's not a very cosy place), but there's a number of others out there. (*)If you do know them then obviously you still don't want to say anything racist, but how they take what you say will depend a lot on the nature of your relationship
Links for further reading
Angry Black Woman's required reading
My race tag
My 101 tag
The Great Race Discussion Linkspam
To everyone who wants to "learn" something about racism
no subject
Yes, I think you are absolutely right and some of our underlying assumptions about how the world works are slightly different. I have been aware for some time that one of the reasons I have such trouble discussing race, gender etc with most radicals is that as a conservative my underlying world view is very different from theirs, and even when this is unstated it can lead to some fundamental misunderstandings and hence disagreements.
I didn't know that marxist ideas believed in things just happening when society was ready, but since conservatism and marxism both arose at the same time in response to the same problem (the rise of unfettered industrial capitalism according to the dictates of Political Economy in the 19th century) it is not unsurprising that there will be similarities of foundation.
Certainly I strongly believe that change needs to be organic and arise from within the populace, and hence have the inbuilt safety checks that any slow organic change will naturally contain. The idea of activists appealing directly to a power group to have change imposed from above is actually pretty morally repugnant to me. (This of course raises a personal moral dilemma on those occasions when I happen to benefit personally or otherwise agree with the change being imposed.)
So, in terms of your post, I think this sort of thing highlights the importance of knowing what you personally think before trying to talk to other people. When I first started to get involved in conversations with radicals I knew that something was 'wrong' with their world view, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. And I am guessing from their angry and aggressive responses to my questions that they could sense something 'wrong' with my world view, in their terms. It took me a long time and a lot of reading around to work out what that problem was and the differences it made. Which is all part of the 'if you disagree with their methods just walk away', because as fundamental a difference as that between a conservative and radicals is not something that is ever going to be ironed out smoothly. We do of course have common ground in terms of wanting a more equitable society, but my understanding of how we got to the current state and how to get out of it seems so at odds with most radical theorists (and the radicals do seem to dominate the debates on LJ) that I am pretty sure I am never going to be able to fully engage in the discussions.
no subject
Bit of both I'd say :)
The idea of activists appealing directly to a power group to have change imposed from above is actually pretty morally repugnant to me. (This of course raises a personal moral dilemma on those occasions when I happen to benefit personally or otherwise agree with the change being imposed
Yeah, I have complicated conflicts between my drive for social justice and my deep respect for democracy.
I'm a loooong way from being conservative myself but for several years have been trying to understand the conservative POV because I think we all suffer when politics etc become polarised and we don't let ourselves understand the intelligent, logical reasons people have for believing things we disagree with. Since (a) Noones going to be convinced if you start with the premise that anyone who disagrees with you is clearly evil and/or stupid and (b) Very occasionally the other side actually have a point :D
And yes, one of the things this investigation has come to make me believe is that sometimes we just have to agree to have different approaches to things and let each other go our separate ways.