I'm really curious and want to know more about your opinion on a particular issue, and I'm trying really hard to explain why in a way that's not overly offensive to anyone involved! So here we go...
Firstly, I'm coming at this from an able perspective (my chronic issues are merely brain and gluten related!) and also as someone who has had this conversation with a surprisingly large number of able friends:
Them: "I feel so lethargic all the time, but all of my tests came back fine." Me: "Okay, I know you eat pretty healthy food, but what activities do you do regularly that raise your heart rate above normal?" Then: "Umm...nothing. I don't really like doing stuff like that."
(I've also had a similar conversation with many people who've said that they'd like to drop a few kilos but have a ton of excuses as to why they can't possibly tweak their diet to eat a higher proportion of fruit/veg and a lower proportion of carbs. [At which gluten-free me snarks 'WTF it's not that hard'])
These conversations tend to leave me in a place of puzzled frustration; I struggle to feel empathy when people have the ability and information to address their complaints, but choose not to. I don't really know how to continue the conversation when they're saying 'I don't like how things are and I'm not going to change anything to fix it'.
So, I'm really curious, from your perspective and experience with chronic fatigue, how do you personally feel when you see people who are fundamentally able with no chronic health issues make the choice not to feel better? (And I'm not talking about random people on the street and making assumptions about ableness, but people whose situation you know well.)
Are you more empathetic than you were before you experienced chronic fatigue? Less? Do you worry that their choices bring more societal judgment upon less able people, or do you want to defend their right to choose not to be well? Does it bother you that they don't make the small changes needed to increase their well-being when it's so much easier for them to maintain it than it is for you to feel well? Do you feel angry, supportive, indifferent or something else?
OMG so many questions, sorry. :) I just realised that I've never had the chance to question someone about this who would give an honest and articulate answer!
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Firstly, I'm coming at this from an able perspective (my chronic issues are merely brain and gluten related!) and also as someone who has had this conversation with a surprisingly large number of able friends:
Them: "I feel so lethargic all the time, but all of my tests came back fine."
Me: "Okay, I know you eat pretty healthy food, but what activities do you do regularly that raise your heart rate above normal?"
Then: "Umm...nothing. I don't really like doing stuff like that."
(I've also had a similar conversation with many people who've said that they'd like to drop a few kilos but have a ton of excuses as to why they can't possibly tweak their diet to eat a higher proportion of fruit/veg and a lower proportion of carbs. [At which gluten-free me snarks 'WTF it's not that hard'])
These conversations tend to leave me in a place of puzzled frustration; I struggle to feel empathy when people have the ability and information to address their complaints, but choose not to. I don't really know how to continue the conversation when they're saying 'I don't like how things are and I'm not going to change anything to fix it'.
So, I'm really curious, from your perspective and experience with chronic fatigue, how do you personally feel when you see people who are fundamentally able with no chronic health issues make the choice not to feel better? (And I'm not talking about random people on the street and making assumptions about ableness, but people whose situation you know well.)
Are you more empathetic than you were before you experienced chronic fatigue? Less? Do you worry that their choices bring more societal judgment upon less able people, or do you want to defend their right to choose not to be well? Does it bother you that they don't make the small changes needed to increase their well-being when it's so much easier for them to maintain it than it is for you to feel well? Do you feel angry, supportive, indifferent or something else?
OMG so many questions, sorry. :) I just realised that I've never had the chance to question someone about this who would give an honest and articulate answer!