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Entry tags:
- class,
- disability,
- links,
- rant
A comment about judging people
So people with chronic fatigue syndrome are a minority in society. People with vaguely similar chronic illnesses and disabilities are less of a minority, I have no idea how much less.
But I still get very annoyed when people assume that anyone who does *blah thing to save energy* must be lazy. Yes, in the old days we didn't have labour saving devices etc. And in the old days, being chronically ill or disabled really sucked. (It still does, but not as much)
Pre-prepared food, remotes, scooters, whatever.
I mean I can understand saying "Surely not EVERYONE who uses this actually needs it, so the overall popular trend is bad even if some uses are valid" but you can't judge any given person without knowing their circumstances.
Even if they're overweight, especially since mobility issues tend, oddly enough, to lead to weight gain. Sometimes people's ill health is either unrelated to, or the cause of their weight issues, and we have just as much right to do unhealthy things like eating junk food as anyone else. Sick and disabled people do not fit into neat little boxes of "lovable perfect victim who never complains" and "entitled whiner who brought it on themselves".
Not aimed at anyone in particular, inspired by hearing about examples of overweight people with similar symptoms to mine (shortness of breath, low blood sugar meaning I need to eat often, slow ungainly gait etc) being judged for "making themselves sick by not losing weight", and thinking dark thoughts about my future since I can't see how I can not gain weight with my current level of immobility. Also this post, which has the added fibre of classism!
Oh, and that woman at the station who said to the man awkwardly carrying his crutch off the train before putting it back on "You obviously don't need that, haha"
Phew! I feel better now.
But I still get very annoyed when people assume that anyone who does *blah thing to save energy* must be lazy. Yes, in the old days we didn't have labour saving devices etc. And in the old days, being chronically ill or disabled really sucked. (It still does, but not as much)
Pre-prepared food, remotes, scooters, whatever.
I mean I can understand saying "Surely not EVERYONE who uses this actually needs it, so the overall popular trend is bad even if some uses are valid" but you can't judge any given person without knowing their circumstances.
Even if they're overweight, especially since mobility issues tend, oddly enough, to lead to weight gain. Sometimes people's ill health is either unrelated to, or the cause of their weight issues, and we have just as much right to do unhealthy things like eating junk food as anyone else. Sick and disabled people do not fit into neat little boxes of "lovable perfect victim who never complains" and "entitled whiner who brought it on themselves".
Not aimed at anyone in particular, inspired by hearing about examples of overweight people with similar symptoms to mine (shortness of breath, low blood sugar meaning I need to eat often, slow ungainly gait etc) being judged for "making themselves sick by not losing weight", and thinking dark thoughts about my future since I can't see how I can not gain weight with my current level of immobility. Also this post, which has the added fibre of classism!
Oh, and that woman at the station who said to the man awkwardly carrying his crutch off the train before putting it back on "You obviously don't need that, haha"
Phew! I feel better now.
Cramming in my 2c
I have been overweight my whole life (due to various reasons, about 50% psychological, 50% sheer laziness.) Society seems to say that fat = bad. Any reason or contributing factors are "excuses". Until you are thin
and bouncing around in a bikini on the beach, you are not human, you are an insensate blob upon whom it is perfectly okay to pass comment.It's really an ingrained mentality in our society. Many of my friends and family have betrayed their feelings, implying that it is all just an excuse. Some have actually paraphrased this.
And as for my opinion on people who can't be bothered, I don't care. I'd prefer not to pass judgement on how they treat their bodies. A dietary or lifestyle change is voluntary; there may just be much greater motivation for different people (e.g. avoiding death from anaphylaxis.) In theory I could lose weight, I just have enough to cope with at the moment and would rather work on internal improvement.
Anyone who should change their diet/lifestyle gets lumped into leper box, and I can't deny anyone the privilege of being lazy.
Re: Cramming in my 2c
If you'll bear with me asking one more... *grin*
I've got some friends who do advocacy work to promote self-esteem and positive body image for women larger than the bizarre ideal presented by the media, and I think what they do is brilliant and healthy. And I've got a bunch more who might not have the time or interest to devote to advocacy, but they love and accept themselves and know that they are perfectly good and well as they, and in doing that make their corner of the world a better and more loving place. (And likewise for friends with other issues that seem to attract social judgment - I don't want to derail this into a discussion on the relationship between fat, beauty & image.)
And in contrast, I consider the people I mentioned in my original comment who put an impressive amount of effort into complaining about how they don't feel well but very little effort into actually doing anything to feel better.
The first group, I admire; the second...I don't know what to do with them. They leave me flailing and confused. So (after than rambling explanatory lead-in) does your general indifference extend to people who are vocally dissatisfied with themselves / their resolvable-unwellness but not willing to do anything about it?
(Edited to say that I have no idea why I felt the need to put an excessive amount of personal anecdotes into these questions. I blame my Tax Law assignment for breaking my brain, and am sure that y'all would have got what I was asking perfectly well if I'd just said 'how do you feel about people who really are lazy, Sophie?' in the first place.) :)
Re: Cramming in my 2c
If they're whining, they're whining. When someone like that starts whinging about weight/energy levels around me, I have been known to respond with comments like "aw, diddums."
Just like I wouldn't whinge about not being able to afford new rims for my new model Jaguar* to someone who can't afford shoes.
(PS I hate Biggest Loser. It promotes the idea that fat people just need to be yelled at and starved until they become 'winners'.)
*I wish.