How a Marriage Survives When One Partner Gets Sick

[sqbr]

I've been thinking about the issues that I and Cam have gone through since I got really sick, but How a Marriage Survives When One Partner Gets Sick covers them pretty well so read that instead. It's specifically about people over 40 but I found most of it applicable.

It's always..weird to discover that your particular unpleasant experience is identical to a whole bunch of other people's. I had the same thing when I encountered other Phd students talking about the particular brand of misery and self hatred postgraduate research inspires.

You know how Cam could be more supportive of me right now, though? Not taking a nap in the next room when I have a bunch of vids I want to watch. Hmmph! But we'll work through it somehow.

Comments

[sqbr]

I think a low-commitment will-break-at-slightest-strain marriage (or other long term committed relationship) is ok if you go in with your eyes open and decide that's what you want, I just don't think people think about all the bad stuff that can happen in life when they make that sort of commitment. Though after being together for ten years we'd already dealt with enough conflicts and tension that we had a system in place for working through stuff, which has worked reasonably well.

[gretel]

Fair enough.

I guess me and my (rather) conservative values can't understand why you'd want a formal state recognition of a low commitment relationship. This ties into an entirely different criticism of my partner however. :P

While I'm not sure it necessarily HAS to take 10 years to deal with enough conflicts and tension, to work out a system of coping, you do need to work out a system of coping that helps both of you.