A real job ad that was on Seek.com.au until recently

[sqbr]

Be warned, it is the most sexist job ad I have ever seen, though the sexism is just the tip of the iceburg. When I found out it had been removed I decided to preserve my cached copy of the text for posterity. It's possible it's a satire, in which case I applaud the author's ability to create such a compellingly awful character.

(Cut and pasted from Seek)

29 Nov 2012
Driver/Secretary
Black Sun Publishing

Melbourne
CBD & Inner Suburbs
Advertising, Arts & Media
Journalism & Writing
$20 - $29.99 per hour
Full Time

Need a driver for a media/arts publishing business that I am setting up. The business will concern itself with the publication of media material for public consumption, and will mainly deal with issues relating to travel, philosophy, consumerism, economics, mathematics, video games, multimedia, movies, technology, with the intention of providing readers with a no-bullshit, no agenda report on products and services on the market. There are a diverse range of products under the market, and pretty much the role of the business will be to report to our readers about our own experiences in consuming these products. Pretty much if you can imagine a mix of ABC Good Game, The Economist, Star Wars, Alien, The Nerdist Podcast,

A little bit about me, I'm a commerce student. I have a pretty upbeat personality and I think a certain degree of human flair. I think I have what it takes to run a strong ethical and valuable business that has the potential, or at least the avid intention to make a sincere stand against oppressive areas of consumerism and political control.

I really just want to work for myself. I've had the experiences of working in corporate environements, currently only as an intern, but really just want to be out there in the sun, or out about at a shopping mall, or in a film theatre rather than an office cubicle :)

If you love travelling (we are going to be travelling a bit - with you driving lol.)

But I am not just looking for a driver, but a rational, sensible intelligent individual that has awareness and geniune interest in socio-politcal, socio-economic,

Pretty much if you love psychology, mathematics, broadening the mind through travel, philosophy, pop-culture, film, reading, and exploring the world, then you may very well tick all the intellectual checkboxes.

Saying this, applicants need to be reasonably good with computers and technology. If you consider yourself a bit of a gamer chick, then perfect. You also need to be a reliable driver - applicants with a manual licence will be highly regarded, but this is not essential as our start-up vehicles will be automatic (i'll be honest by start up vehicle I really mean my old beamer, but it's still a kick arse car with a lot of grace and character.)

A sound understanding of cars and automobile mechanics, whilst not absolutely neccesary (can be taught) would certainly make you stand out.

You also need to have a knack with navigation. Ad my driver I will equip the vehicle with some upper end navigation equipment; nothing too hardcore don't worry, but an applicant must be able to show competent in using say a bluetooth headset, a tom-tom nav unit, a sony tablet etc.

Also as the role will include secretarial duties, ie managing intellectual property, providing a front to clients, writing up small reports or whatever on consumer data etc, but this is all stuff that I imagine takes a bit of a learning curve getting used to, so let's just say if you can drive a standard vehicle, are reasonable healthy and fit, and consider urself to have a awesome personality, then I would like to hear from you.

Unfortunately I am only taking applications from females at the moment, because this role, as geeky as it sounds, is largely based on Juno Eclipse from The Force Unleashed:

http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/a/a7/JunoEclipse_bg.jpg

or perhaps more maturely put:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juno_(mythology)

But relax, you won't be required to wear or do anything silly, just jeans and smart casuals/hip travelling clothes. Job had purely the professional requirement of being the 'pilot' and providing opinion/feedback on any consumer adventures that eventuate. Pretty much I would like our relationship to be purely professional and plutonic, well unless this being altered by some Oedipus like fate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvKrELFopUI.

But for now, drive the vehicle lol:

(for the sake of authenticity will be registered under the company under the name of 'Rogue Shadow')

Which pending on favorable market conditions and the hands of fate, will hopefully at some stage be upgraded to:

http://www.carsguide.com.au/images/uploads/BMW-5series-GT-W.jpg

Or any other upmarket vehicle you think appropriate, so long as its black or dark blue and you don't insist on fluro pink , it's all good. (afterall you will be responsible for the upkeep of the vehicle on all aspects, including making sure it has adequate servicing, refueling etc)

As for hours of the job, it's not too demanding at first and will purely be part time on the weekend, but will slowly eventuate to a more full time role once things get up and running, laah. Pretty much you'll go through, say a three month probation period, which will lead to full employment, well if I think your a likable, insightful and intelligent person. Someone who is well grounded, not too materialist, someone that loves the finer things, but also loves roughing it from time to time. If your a bit of a nerd and love sci-fi related stuff, then you've got a pretty good chance going far in the role.

Pay is negotiable based on experience, naturally if you've had a lot of secretarial experience in corporate environments, or spent some years at ADFA, or have a pHD in metaphysics, or speak another language fluently your pay is going to be a lot better. Also it would help if you like Rage Against the Machine, U2, Yeah Yeah Yeah, Tegan & Sarah, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, LCD Soundsystem

Age? Between 21-28, but a little bit outside is okay I guess. Not too fussed how awesome you look; well that's a lie. But so long as you take the standard level of awareness to your looks as any girl would. Ethnicity, not really too fussed. Again we'll have to meet up over coffee to discuss the posibility of employment. Saying this, if you look and speak like Juno I probably hire you regardless of say well anything, even disclosures of violent psychotic fits of rage on your resume; I support we can find a way to work around that :)

Standard wage would be $20 an hour, and modified up based on your experience. You will get your own private quarters when we travel, all your flights and accomodation costs will be covered by the company, and be issued company equipment for your own use, and you'll also be equiped with your own business card (you will be strongly representing the org culture of the business, and I want you to act and have the tools to act professionally etc.

Anyways, looking forward to you! Remember, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube all started out as quirky, absurd ideas. :)

If you are interested in this position (or further position) let me know and we'll arrange an interview time. Further employment opportunities for males will definitely come up as we move past the early development stages (i'm looking for a quarter master in the near future: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9H31z7OqM, as well as R&D personel, ie mechanical, electrical engineering students, and maybe some accountants/finance people in time, lol)

Well for the one person that reads this and takes it rightly seriously, good luck with the application :)

I made this deliberated long to filter out the less keen people :)

This entry was originally posted at http://alias-sqbr.dreamwidth.org/476841.html. There are comments.

Comments

[daedala]

Wow.

[sqbr]

I know, right?

[lilysea]

Oh. My. God.

Shorter version:

"Would you like to be sexually harassed by a boss who has no idea of standard employer/employee interactions, and who has no HR department?"

[sqbr]

Pretty much!

[shehasathree]

Wow! What a relief I am outside the age range, otherwise I would totally be worried that i am failing to maintain the 'standard level of awareness to my looks that any (28 year old) "girl" would'.

[sqbr]

But any girl would. If we are not fulfilling those criteria CLEARLY WE ARE NOT GIRLS.

[wendelah1]

This guy appears to be advertising for a girlfriend. Or writing a comic novel. Or conducting a social experiment.

[sqbr]

Yes. One hopes for 2 or 3, but idk...

[livewareissue]

Um.

Maybe wendelah1 is right and it's a social experiment.

[sqbr]

One can only hope...

[jesse_the_k]

I think it's the result of a drunken late-night bet.

Is this nominally legal?

Ghu knows there's 99 kinds of systematic discrimination in the U.S., but one can't specify gender, ethnicity, impairment in a want ad.

[tree]

you can't discriminate/specify based on age, race, gender, ethnicity, etc here, either. unless it's a specially identified role, e.g. for an Indigenous person.

[sqbr]

Yeah, this is all sorts of Not Legal. As is the implied later advertisement for male-only accountants.

[tree]

I would like our relationship to be purely professional and plutonic

*sporffle*

i know i should be appalled at this, but it's just so comedic and poorly written that i'm more amused than anything. it's a shame the ad is gone because i would've loved to "apply" and say that i meet all his requirements but that i'm sorry, i require an employer who knows the basic rules of grammar, spelling, and actually knows the meaning of the words he uses.

it could be a joke or a prank, but at $250 or more it's an expensive one.

[sqbr]

People have gone to way more effort for pranks, so you never know.

[kaz]

...what the FUCK did I just read.

[sqbr]

I DON'T KNOW

Clearly a troll

[(Anonymous)]

What is it with all the gullible people roaming around these days?

"Pay is negotiable based on experience, naturally if you've had a lot of secretarial experience in corporate environments, or spent some years at ADFA, or have a pHD in metaphysics, or speak another language fluently your pay is going to be a lot better. Also it would help if you like Rage Against the Machine, U2, Yeah Yeah Yeah, Tegan & Sarah, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, LCD Soundsystem"

Honestly? Even after reading that and you can't figure out it's a major prank.

It's not that sexist anyway, and if you think this is the most sexist thing you've ever read, you haven't lived or experienced enough.

:P

[sqbr]

I did say it was possibly satire. And I didn't say it was the most sexist thing I'd ever seen (it definitely isn't), I said it was the most sexist job ad. Admittedly, on further thought I have indeed seen more sexist job ads, but they were all decades old or from other places.