Monday, April 7th, 2008 12:15 pm
So, [livejournal.com profile] sonnlich posted a link to this interesting article about the way menstruation is still a pretty taboo subject, even though a lot of guys probably wouldn't actually freak out if women brings it up. So, a poll.

Nb: when I say "mention" I just mean in vague, non-gross terms like "Crap! Out of tampons" or "Ow. Cramps", not going into icky detail. The same way one might talk about having gastro or a runny nose.

[Poll #1167026]
Tags:
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
Oops.
:-)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:31 am (UTC)
You can change your answer, you know. :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
Thanks, it's cool.
:-)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
Oops? If you made a mistake you can retake the poll and change your answers.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
I thought I tried that and ended up with two answers. Both of which I am cool with (yes, I think whenever it comes up naturally in conversation, and sometimes i think ALL THE TIME YES YES YES!)

But menstruation is one of my favourite topics anyway.

Check out

http://www.mum.org

Fascinating stuff.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC)
Hey, wow, how interesting.

And there's a reason it's ticky boxes and not radio buttons, two answers is perfectly acceptable :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:36 am (UTC)
Of course I mention pooping whenever I can.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
POO!
I have two children. There's a lot of poo in my conversation and not enough menstruation!
:-)

(I think I have had so much coffee my eye is twitching. This is weird.)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
With a certain notation for "what I think" being distinct from "what I do", but I have a lot of that.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 05:37 am (UTC)
That's why it's what other women should do :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
Eh. I don't get it.

Yes, ok, some men don't like hearing about it at all, even in vague terms, but shrug.

I'm surprised the woman in that article was so self hating. Seriously. I mean she didn't even mention the sisterhood of "hey do you have any pads?" No woman I have ever asked that has flinched.

And in fact as the girls in my school reach menarche in the 5th grade or so, they usually feel comfortable asking us teachers for a pad. It helps that they get told they can talk to any female teacher they feel close to about it in their girls' health lecture thingy.

The first time a student of mine asked me to help her out, I felt honored at her trust. I took her to the nurse, also female, who had some supplies.

I don't think men have something analogous.
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
Wet dreams would be the closest analouge, and they most certainly aren't something you talk about. When they are talked about, it's generally father and son, in a slightly panicked "get the info I need and change topic ASAP" way.
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
Yeah, but I didn't think men talked about that at work. I walk about my period at work when I need a pad or just you know when I feel crappy and explain I have cramps and then a conversation ensues on occasion about how our periods are.

But yeah.
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
Well, I've always been a bit wierd about it, but I'm wierd about everything (hugging, for example) so I'm not sure it counts :)

And yes, there is a bit of a solidarity of femaleness about it, although in my experience at least such conversations are often (but not always) still a bit awkward and self conscious. I guess different people have experienced very different things.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 05:20 am (UTC)
I'm still shy about talking about periods with men outside my trusted friendship groups/ family. I probably would be a bit vague with, say, a male coworker or a guy I only saw at swancon...
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
Same. And by "family" I mean "Cam", I wouldn't bring it up with my dad or brothers either. Really, I'm pretty neurotic about the whole thing, but I'm neurotic about everything :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 05:23 am (UTC)
Women should also be educated about reusable menstrual products as well as pads and tampons.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 08:02 am (UTC)
It warms my heart to know that a decent amount of chicks on my f-list use a cup (or cloth pads). There needs to be more though!
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
You'll be happy to know, then, this this conversation prompted me to finally get around to ordering one :) (I was going to before, but their site was down for maintenance, and then I forgot)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 08:37 am (UTC)
I heartily endorse this comment! :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 12:25 pm (UTC)
I then to go out of my way to tell people about how wonderful menstrual cups are. I wish they got more of a mention in Australia, I don't know what I'd do without mine.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
They don't work for everybody, though, and not all the time for many of those they work for at all.

I have a menstrual cup, which for various anatomy reasons, I am only able to comfortably use maybe 1 in every 2 periods, and I'm not inclined to use it for some of the time in that period.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
That's interesting. I know that they don't work for everyone, but I'm interested to hear that you can only use them comfortably sometimes. Does it get too hard to put in, or will it not sit right or something?
Monday, April 7th, 2008 01:48 pm (UTC)
I think that sometimes my cervix sits too low so the end is poking out, or at the very least poking into my more sensitive tissues (though I've trimmed the stem). That is really uncomfortable when I walk, or do anything much really.

I know instructions say you can and should wear it low in the vagina- but I constantly feel it that way.
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
YES!!! And they should be easier to get in australia. Because THEY ARE AWESOME
Monday, April 7th, 2008 05:52 am (UTC)
I prefer to not hear aboutt it. I am easily grossed out, and almost feinted when we were first told about menstruation in primary school.

Unfortunately I am in an office full of girls where they all feel like being very open about womeny things with me - which is fine, except for this one thing.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 06:57 am (UTC)
My previous all-but-me female workplace did that, though it tended to be with pregnancy rather than menstruation. I've heard stuff that would make your hair curl.

Current all-but-me female workplace doesn't do it so much, though. Only topic that might be considered taboo is romance in middle-age, and that's not so bad.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
I think old-person romance (75+ or so) is really adorable, though. The STI rates not so much.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)
oh man, the pregnancy talk makes me so glad I'm male. sooooo glad. And there was a fair bit of talk about pregnancy in my other office, because of the two pregnant women working there.

Pregnancy stuff I can handle hearing about and seeing, but menstruation not. Weird.
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:56 am (UTC)
I've never had an all/mostly female workplace, they sound intriguing :)
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
My previous position was Secretariat, my current one is Health Policy. It's not exactly the Secretaries and Nurses stereotype, but uncomfortably close among the older ladies.
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 07:56 am (UTC)
I must say I find the vibe in health VERY different to the maths dept (also Scitech, but they're crazy :)). And yes, a LOT more women. I went to a medical conference about kids health issues and it was like 90% female, a huge change from maths conferences.

Being in a graduate-ish, IT heavy position the age thing isn't so much an issue :)
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:57 am (UTC)
Do you get freaked out by descriptions of illness/surgery etc? (I totally do)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
It's just like any of the body's other natural functions. It'd be pretty offputting if we all started talking about frequency, consistancy, colour and/or odour of our bowel movements, urine, or snot.

All I'd like is for it to be socially acceptable to say "I have period cramps" or a relative metaphor. All the media focuses on is the Craaazy Woman when it's period time, but in real life it's more of a situation of "I'm in pain but I can't mention it because boys don't understand".
Monday, April 7th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC)
It may just be my workplace, but bodily functions are dinner conversation- whereas menstruation, for some reason, is not (even though it's almost all women!).
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)
Mm, same.
Monday, April 7th, 2008 06:26 am (UTC)
In the same way that I don't want to hear about a pimple on someone's butt or their relationship woes : oh, okay, thanks for mentioning that, now I know that you're feely crappy, but, yeah, now I know, you can stop talking about it, yeah, I know, okay now ignoring your wahwahwah.

If boys were annoying us in high school, we'd start talking about periods to get them to go away. =D
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
I went to an all girls highschool, so we had no excuse to talk about them :)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)
I've heard people of various genders say they don't like to hear about it, because they have issues with blood and/or bodily functions [including their own] that make them queasy. But they're acknowledging it as their own body issues thing, not "women are gross!", so I'm not bothered.

It's very tiresome though when people who talk about genitals, poo, disease etc., as a form of macho shock factor humour get all offended by period talk or breastfeeding.
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 04:00 am (UTC)
Mm, it's the double standard that's the issue. Personally I'm a lot more grossed out by medical talk (esp needles)
Monday, April 7th, 2008 12:11 pm (UTC)
Only male in a staff of 15.

If I cared, i would be shit out of luck. Fortunately i don't and they only tried to gross me out once, they learnt that I could out gross them a lot faster, when i countered by talking about partial unbirthing.

I never told them exactly what it was, but sure enough in a room full of librarians someone had to google for it. Yay for encylopedia dramatica!
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 04:03 am (UTC)
Haha. Yeah I pity anyone who tries to gross you out :) *assiduously does NOT google that phrase*
Monday, April 7th, 2008 09:38 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to discuss, be discussed with women. Not so much with Men. I don't want to get into a position where everytime I'm off sick that's what they think it is. (I've only ever had to stay home for that once.

But that being said I don't feel the need to discuss my gastro either.

I'm happy to say gah cramps to a girl cause they know - they understand, To a bloke they don't know - they don't understand. (Unless you get a guy who's partner getls it massively bad they will think you are a whinger.

But like I said, If you have gastro -no one needs to hear about that.
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
Mm, though in my experience it's a lot more acceptable to just say "I have gastro" than "I have my period".