On inappropriate envy

[sqbr]

Two things you should not say to someone whose life is significantly affected by a medical condition:
1) Wow, I wish I could life your life!
2) If I had to live like that I would die

I've had quite a bit of the latter when I tell people I can't eat much chocolate etc, it get a bit frustrating. I don't mean "That must be annoying", I'm talking a reaction of intense pity and shock. (It's not that bad!)

But now I have chronic fatigue I get a lot more of the former. To anyone who wants to spend all day laying around doing nothing? Do it! What's that, you can't afford it? You'd feel guilty? People might give you crap? That doesn't stop me, don't let it stop you!

Still, thinking about this reminded me to look up dot_gimp_snark. Also Lauredlh has a good post about chronic fatigue and invisible disabilities here.

Tactless oaf that I am, I have almost certainly said both of these things multiple times to different people, especially since most of the time it's just people reacting in "Oh god I don't know what to say" panic, which is a common state for me. So, you know, if you've done it to me I probably just accepted it as karma :)

Comments

[stephiepenguin.livejournal.com]

Relatedly, I find it very frustrating anytime people say "I might die" to things which probably aren't going to kill them, for example: "If you don't hear from me it's because exams killed me;" "I'd die if I couldn't eat icecream;" "I'd die if she broke up with me;" etc. I will grant that there may have been, or it may occur in the future, that someone dies from exams (due to stress or the building collapsing in the middle of the exam or something), but the likelihood of the person making that comment actually thinking they're going to die is so miniscule, why are they engaging in such hyperbole? argh, etc.

[alias_sqbr]

Well, I don't mind people saying that if it clearly is hyperbole. I like a bit of absurdity and poetic license :) But yes, that's not the same thing as overdramatising and believing your life will actually end if things don't go 100% the way you want.

Be careful with hyperbole.

[infamyanonymous.livejournal.com]

Yay, I get to tell my embarassing story!

Me: "What with stress and the flu, my friends could be dead for all I know!"
Lady: "A friend of mine died on Monday. He was at work and had a heart attack. Weakened by influenza."


And now I feel bad again.

Re: Be careful with hyperbole.

[alias_sqbr]

Ow. I hate situations like that, and being remarkably tactless I hit them a lot...