On inappropriate envy

[sqbr]

Two things you should not say to someone whose life is significantly affected by a medical condition:
1) Wow, I wish I could life your life!
2) If I had to live like that I would die

I've had quite a bit of the latter when I tell people I can't eat much chocolate etc, it get a bit frustrating. I don't mean "That must be annoying", I'm talking a reaction of intense pity and shock. (It's not that bad!)

But now I have chronic fatigue I get a lot more of the former. To anyone who wants to spend all day laying around doing nothing? Do it! What's that, you can't afford it? You'd feel guilty? People might give you crap? That doesn't stop me, don't let it stop you!

Still, thinking about this reminded me to look up dot_gimp_snark. Also Lauredlh has a good post about chronic fatigue and invisible disabilities here.

Tactless oaf that I am, I have almost certainly said both of these things multiple times to different people, especially since most of the time it's just people reacting in "Oh god I don't know what to say" panic, which is a common state for me. So, you know, if you've done it to me I probably just accepted it as karma :)

Comments

[alias_sqbr]

Actually I was pretty addicted to it in my youth, but then again I didn't have to quit cold turkey, I just became more and more aware of the negative physical effects (which unfortunately take longer to kick in than the positive ones, allowing me to be in denial about them) and slowly cut it out.

I imagine chronic fatigue wouldn't be quite the relaxing lying-around-all-day experience that people who are jealous of you must expect, but more of a you-feel-like-you've-just-worked-a-solid-week-but-have-nothing-to-show-for-it-argghh experience.

Got it in one. And most of the time I am literally physically incapable of moving, so it's not so much an excuse as an explanation.

(And hey, I could have CFS anyway. Though I think it's actually narcolepsy. Or cats-fall-on-me-a-lot-while-I'm-sleeping fatigue.)

I Am Not A (medical) Doctor, but having been in that boat, if it is CFS you want to be careful, since the reason I'm in this mess is because I pushed myself too hard when I was just tired all the time but able to work etc if I pushed myself. Keep an eye on yourself, and if you're interested the overview here is pretty good (just scroll past the first few pages)