A comment about judging people

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So people with chronic fatigue syndrome are a minority in society. People with vaguely similar chronic illnesses and disabilities are less of a minority, I have no idea how much less.

But I still get very annoyed when people assume that anyone who does *blah thing to save energy* must be lazy. Yes, in the old days we didn't have labour saving devices etc. And in the old days, being chronically ill or disabled really sucked. (It still does, but not as much)

Pre-prepared food, remotes, scooters, whatever.

I mean I can understand saying "Surely not EVERYONE who uses this actually needs it, so the overall popular trend is bad even if some uses are valid" but you can't judge any given person without knowing their circumstances.

Even if they're overweight, especially since mobility issues tend, oddly enough, to lead to weight gain. Sometimes people's ill health is either unrelated to, or the cause of their weight issues, and we have just as much right to do unhealthy things like eating junk food as anyone else. Sick and disabled people do not fit into neat little boxes of "lovable perfect victim who never complains" and "entitled whiner who brought it on themselves".

Not aimed at anyone in particular, inspired by hearing about examples of overweight people with similar symptoms to mine (shortness of breath, low blood sugar meaning I need to eat often, slow ungainly gait etc) being judged for "making themselves sick by not losing weight", and thinking dark thoughts about my future since I can't see how I can not gain weight with my current level of immobility. Also this post, which has the added fibre of classism!

Oh, and that woman at the station who said to the man awkwardly carrying his crutch off the train before putting it back on "You obviously don't need that, haha"

Phew! I feel better now.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/peasant_/]

I've got CFS.

how do you personally feel when you see people who are fundamentally able with no chronic health issues make the choice not to feel better? (And I'm not talking about random people on the street and making assumptions about ableness, but people whose situation you know well.)
I don't really know anyone like that, but I don't think I have a strong opinion on individuals either way. Everyone who has health issues has them wrapped up in an awful lot of other things, and I wouldn't presume to try to pick them apart into cause and effect and judge accordingly.

I do know that having CFS means you have to put up with the judgements of other people all the time. Comments like 'oh we all get tired' and 'I wish I could go to bed for a week' grate like mad if you let them. So do the judgements about weight gain and exercise. Part of learning to cope with CFS is learning to understand and not mind about this sort of thing. So for example a couple of days ago I was coming up the stairs when two men were at the top. I had to pause half way up and again at the top. One of the men joked 'having trouble getting up the stairs?' From his point of view that was a reasonable joke - because they've seen me walking around the house perfectly normally and so would have assumed I am healthy. I had to quickly explain that I have CFS and yes it can sometimes be difficult. And of course they were both horribly embarrassed so I had to quickly make an exit (quick being a relative term on that occasion!). None of that annoyed me even slightly, it probably embarrassed them far more than it annoyed me - but knowing how to cope with these situations is part of having CFS.

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So many people answering my question! *feels a little guilty about hijacking Sophie's post* Thank you for taking the time to reply. xx

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On the other hand you've given me a chance to use my new icon! Huzzah! :)