Well that didn't take long

[sqbr]

So, I decided a couple of weeks ago that I identify as bi (or something along those lines) I see no reason to be in the closet about it should it come up in conversation, but couldn't see that it would that much, or that most people would care. Still, there was that niggling worry about the world suddenly turning into a magical wonderland of homophobia I'd never noticed before.

A conversation I had today with an ex student who came to the door selling Foxtel (cable)
Him: Well, what about True Blood? Ah…I can see from your expression that you watch it.
Me: I used to. I decided I didn't like what the writers were doing with the characters I liked.
Him: Admit it, you just watched it for the topless men, that's what all girls watch it for.
Me: No, I mainly watch it for the female characters(*).
Him: Wait..are you bi?
Me: Yes.
Him: And you're ok just telling me that!
Me: Yes?
Him: I guess there's a few of you around, I met another bi girl down the street!
Me: There's more of us than you might think.
Him: I could set you guys up!
Me: I'm happily married, thanks.
Him: That must make things exciting for your husband *leer*
Me: Not…really?

He continued in that vein for a while (for context, I'm wearing an ankle length skirt, ill fitting hoodie and bedsocks, with no makeup or jewelry etc. I was not expecting to be objectified today), and later he complimented our car and equated Cam's fashionable taste in technology with his fashionable taste in wives D:(**) At which point he seemed to notice that I was annoyed and left.

It wasn't horribly traumatising or anything but it was still creepy. Luckily I can't remember teaching the guy (I guess I should be flattered he remembered me after so many years!) so it hasn't spoiled my memories of him as a tiny adorable fresher.

(*)The idea that caring about female characters makes you bi is a whole other thing. I don't even find the female cast of True Blood all that attractive!
(**)In fact we're super fashionable since he's biracial, specifically eurasian. YAY US.

Comments

[sami]

Yeah, in some ways bisexuality cops the worst of it, because you get the homophobia, the creeps like that guy, *and* a subset of the homosexual community who are totally prejudiced against bisexuals. (Especially, unfortunately, bisexual people who have heterosexual marriages.)

On the other hand, those people suck and can be ignored, imo.

I still have a tendency to forget that Cam is biracial. I think if he didn't have an *overwhelmingly Scottish* name, or if he didn't have such *overwhelmingly Scottish* colouring, I would remember that he's not just Scottish, but... there just aren't that many biracial people one tends to meet, befriend, and socialise with for a period of multiple years before you actually find out about their biracial...ness.

Also, I hardly ever actually see him these days, so he's sort of this abstract Sophie-attachment in my head, a lot of the time. Unless I concentrate, my mental image of Cam is this vague blur of "tall/fair-skin/red-hair/genial/not-loud".

[sqbr]

*nods* I've heard about this stuff from my (in some cases also married) bi friends so I knew what I was letting myself in for. Thus far the benefits of feeling more comfortable in my skin are still worth it though :)

abstract Sophie-attachment

Yeah that sounds about right :D (I say secure in the knowledge that he doesn't read dw, and is regardless still out of the country)

[holyschist]

What a...lovely conversation. :-/

[sqbr]

Oh yes, quite delightful.

[trouble]

Yeah. Yeah. :(

[sqbr]

Yeah :(

[(Anonymous)]

I find it interesting that you decided to put the context line about what you were wearing. As if were you instead in a tight, low cut, hooter's t-shirt, (slightly see-through after getting wet whilst washing your car) and short-shorts his comments would have been less objectionable.

[sqbr]

Less objectionable: no. Less surprising: yes. I find guys are more likely to hit on me when I look more conventionally attractive than when I look frumpy, and I was looking very frumpy.

(That said, I could see how it could come across that way, sorry about that)