Thorns

In which I try to tease some sort of narrative out of the ridiculously long and rambling unabridged version. It's still pretty long, and still very subjective. And I'm still open to criticism and other points of view! Especially since I'm as prone to subconsciously editing history as anyone else.

The tl;dr version is that fandom used to actively stifle discussions of social justice, and then slowly started caring about it. Unfortunately, when fandom cares about something it uses it to attack other fans with different tastes, and social justice has been no exception. I still think things are better overall.
( brief mentions of rape and abuse )

Yesterday I went to a rally calling for a National Disability Insurance Scheme, which later was announced to have become policy. I have no deep point to make, but it was this or not get around to posting on BADD at all.

It's the first political rally I can remember ever going to. When I was younger I had a kneejerk reaction against rallies the same way that some people from church going families do against going to church, and then just as I started getting more into activism I got sick. I must admit my understanding of the NDIS is fairly shallow, but when lilysea asked if I wanted to come along I decided it would be a good chance to see what going to a rally in the wheelchair is like since I could probably rely on the organisers to pay attention to accessibility. Plus, while I do ok myself, know a lot of disabled Australians have real issues getting the help they need.

The organisers were indeed pretty good with accessibility, including setting a start time in the middle of the day well after the time we were supposed to arrive (disabled people often not being able to zip about efficiently in the early morning or late at night). The same cannot, alas, be said for Transperth, the lifts at Perth train station died really quickly once they had to deal with multiple people in wheelchairs etc using them in quick succession, causing a long queue, and staff were apparently unhelpful. (And later on we discovered the joy of trying to fit more than 4 people with wheelchairs/prams etc in a train carriage)

Once we escaped the station we spent some time waiting with many other disabled people and carers in the Hay Street mall, with organisers emphasising that the police needed us to of stay in the centre so that pedestrians could get past. The few police looked rather bored, but there were quite a few photographers and journalists. A woman from the ABC asked lilysea and I if we wanted to be interviewed but neither of us felt up to being Representatives of The Disabled, and deferred to a more prepared looking woman. (If you see any photos of a woman with bright blue hair in a wheelchair, that's lilysea. I'm the more boringly dressed woman beside her :)) I met some women from a local disabled women's group lilysea is in, they seem very nice.

Organisers with microphones tried to encourage people to chant, but my throat wasn't up to it. I did hold a sign on my lap. We went at a slow pace as a fairly tight group up the mall, down a block towards the river and into the Supreme Court gardens. It was hard keeping a steady pace with people of all different abilities and forms of mobility (scooters, on foot, crutches etc), I ran over someone's foot :( At the gardens there were people set up to direct people towards the stairs or ramp as appropriate, which did a good job of preventing bottlenecks. Then there was a small concert, which was loud and not really my thing so I left after taking some photos.

It was an interesting experience. Even as someone in a wheelchair I sometimes found myself defaulting to talking to carers rather than other wheelchair users. But despite my best efforts I am alas not always immune from awkwardness around people with major speech impediments or cognitive disability, which many people had. Being in a large group of disabled people was kind of cool, people showing off cool purple calipers etc without awkwardness.

(Below: Three photos of a large group of people, many in red shirts, some in wheelchairs or just sitting on garden chairs, watching a band play on stage in the park of the Supreme Court gardens. It is a beautiful sunny Perth Autumn day)
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So, I decided a couple of weeks ago that I identify as bi (or something along those lines) I see no reason to be in the closet about it should it come up in conversation, but couldn't see that it would that much, or that most people would care. Still, there was that niggling worry about the world suddenly turning into a magical wonderland of homophobia I'd never noticed before.
( And it is pretty magical )

Curently killing time on cams new iPad in the dentists surgery while he has a tooth extracted. (heh, it automatically capitalized iPad. Grr and put the z in capitalized)

Anyway, at the perth train station beforehand cam said "did you see that woman 'defending' marriage? Totally code for being anti gay marriage"

And sure enough a few moments later she approached us.

Her: are you in favor of marriage?
Me: I'm in favor of marriage for all people
Her: good! Then would you like to make a donation or come to our rally?
Me: that depends, are you in favor of marriage for same sex couples?
Her: ... No
Me: then you're not in favor of marriage.

And then we walked away, with her saying a bit belatedly "but marriage is between a man and a woman..."

(would have posted this to alias-sqbr but am logged in here and may have to get off at any minute)

A very merry December 25th to all of you! Or a merry December 26th, or whatever day it is for you when you read this :)

1) I am not going to even bother trying to answer my mail until lj stops being so flakey (this is also the reason this entirely innocuous post is posted here)

2)I am going to stop mainlining X-files. I'm not going to stop watching, but the early-90s lack of continuity is bugging me (it's pretty good for the time, but I am reminded why I didn't watch so much tv back then) and my will to work through it has been eroded by three episodes in a row whose topics would requite trigger warnings were I to discuss them. (Not that I have triggers, but it's still a type of fiction I avoid if I can. At least the parasite episodes have been spread out a bit more, and there haven't been any about zombies)

I'd read fanfic but it's all based on season 6 on :/ (It's not so much the fact I don't understand what's going on that bugs me as the fact the characters aren't the same any more)

Oh! And I've decided I want a paid dreamwidth account, if anyone who was planning on getting me a birthday present anyway wants to do so early before I get around to buying it myself *hint hint*

Speaking of which does anyone want an invite?

Hmm. And now I'm out of things to do. *looks without much enthusiasm at the giant pile of clean washing that needs sorting*

I've decided to try and approach being stuck at home as I might a holiday (of indefinite duration and limited resources :/) and so am slowly going through all the things I've been putting off for ages. It gives me a nice sense of accomplishment.

Anyway, I just went through my draft posts folder. To begin with I had 84 drafts going back to 2007, now sorted into:

• 34 I had already posted (including a few drafts of comments)
  
• One I posted right away (since it was a teeny post that probably won't get much of a reply)
  
• Two I will post in a little bit when I'm sure none of my posts from the last few days are going to explode in a hurry
  
• 2 about ethics
  
• 3 about gender
  
• 2 long rambles about my personal history that grew out of other ideas (probably won't post these :))
  
• 15 about race
  
• 4 about religion
  
• 9 misc (polls, a discussion of allergies, other random stuff)
  
• 8 I decided were crap
  

Next up: going through each subfolder and seeing if I can combine the various drafts into one or more posts (or additions to the "just crap" folder). Many of these are just variations on the same ideas, there were a HEAP about artistic responsibility going back to some of my earliest drafts but I think I've finally articulated my position on that so they all went into "posted".

Does anyone else do this? And yes, it is scary to think that the huge barrage of rambly crap that makes it onto my journals has already passed through a winnowing and editing process :D (Though most of my posts are written off the cuff. Like this one!)

Read pretty much all of Yu+me Dream in one sitting (it starts as the story of a depressed American schoolgirl who everyone picks on but then goes somewhere very..odd)

Realise the reason you did this is because you are feeling sick and depressed and stupid.

Take the next day off work. Feel more sick and depressed and stupid.

Watch Speak, the story of a depressed American schoolgirl (played by Kristin Stewart) who is by turns ignored and picked on as she struggles to express her feelings after being raped by a charming older boy.

Watch the fanvid Because he loves her, which amongst other things takes Twilight, the story of a mopey American schoolgirl (played by Kristin Stewart) who falls in love with a controlling, violent, charming older boy, and highlights the parallels with domestic violence.

Decide you need to read or watch something cheerful. With absolutely no schoolgirls or depressed people.

(nb: all of these things are pretty good. Yu+me is a really engaging lesbian romance which goes to an unexpected and fascinating place, though the overall portrayal of POC characters made me uncomfortable. Speak is understated and subtle. The vid makes a good point though imo needs more fandoms and/or more narrative)

Lily posted a musical autobiography, I thought instead I'd try and find songs from important moments in my life which I identified with at the time. These are mostly angsty/break up songs because that's my favourite genre, and my emotional involvement with music seems to be directly proportional to how teenage and/or depressed I am feeling.

Some of the songs as a rather odd YouTube playlist.
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Wow. I feel terrible. I think I'm going to have to judge the "working three days a week" experiment a failure, especially since one of those days was spent restfully watching other people speak during a four hour(!) meeting.

I'm currently watching "Meeting People is Easy", a Radiohead doco I recorded off ABC (Unexpected side effect of Foxtel: recording all that cool stuff off ABC and SBS have I forget to watch) It's so utterly them, a bunch of diconnected half scenes and songs with no explanation or context, often cut off mid sentence. And yet somehow it ALL MAKES SENSE. Back in about 1997 their official webpage consisted almost entirely of mostly white pages with disconnected images and snatches of lyrics, with random words being links to other pages, and clicking in far enough led to strange things, and their merchandise page and "As a reward for clicking this far, have a free t-shirt design saying "Property of the Radiohead Corporation"". I thought it was the coolest thing ever, in my defense I was 17 :D It had an unforunate effect on my homepage which I first constructed around that time, the only real remaining vestige being the scenic route.

I love their music, but I get the feeling I'd find them unbearably intimidating and up themselves in person :) (Well, that and I turn into a gibbering 12 year old girl when I meet famous people, it's terrible) I've never cared much about the musicians who make the music I like much anyway, I get more personally attached to writers. (Although, in the very unlikley event Radiohead reads this but you never know..I LOVE YOU GUYS NO OFFENSE SQUEE FLAIL)

Does anyone else think Thom Yorke looks kind of like John Simm? No? Ok, just me then.