Sophie's Secret LJ

[sqbr]

I've been thinking about the separation of ones real life from online and fandom lives, and how I just don't do it. This is partly inspired by a couple of posts on metafandom (I got around to actually typing it out as a comment on this post then realised it was Way Long).

I'm pretty much completely open with everyone I know (friends, family and coworkers) about being a big nerd who goes to conventions etc, and am not extra-specially reticent to mention I have a livejournal if it naturally comes up in conversation.

I think one of the reasons is that I don't do anything Terribly Controversial. My preference is for intellectually stimulating stuff with as little sex&violence as possible, I can see how things are different for people who write gay porn etc, especially those living in more narrow minded places. Also I don't see the internet as completely anonymous, I tend to assume that people I know could be reading everything I write, and that anyone online who wants to find me in real life, or vice versa, will be able to do so.

Anyway, I decided to go through the reasons people have for anonymity/compartmentalisation and whether or not I should care.

1. I could get into legal trouble This does worry me sometimes, but afaict the kind of stuff I do is at most going to get me a Cease and Desist letter. Still, the strongest argument I can see.
   
2. People will think I'm weird and not like me: People think that anyway. No, really, in any situation where people will think being a nerd is Very Bad, chances are they won't like me due to my abiding and unrestrainable dorkiness. I can live with the mild teasing I get from open-minded non-nerds. Also I feel very strongly that I should be Who I Really Am as much as possible.
   
3. It may damage me at work The way I see it, the stuff I read is no worse (in terms of "Think of the Children!" content) than your average mainstream fiction so at worst they'll think I'm a bit weird. See point 2. Anyway, my current job(*) is absurdly fandom friendly, there's like four people there I met through fandom, and we sit around talking about cosplay for upcoming cons or checking our ljs and noone bats an eyelid. The one thing I am careful about (and didn't used to be) is not saying the name of my employer openly online, since I asked my immediate boss about doing so in a comic and he said it's a Bad Thing, but a serial-numbers filed off version is fine. (And one day I'll get around to drawing it)
   
4. If I mention I have a livejournal/blog, people will read it Since my first blog post in 2004 in the back of my head has been the assumption that anything I didn't want my boss/family to read, they would. So I don't put that stuff online. This has occasionally been a bit of a strain(**) and sometimes I slip up a bit in forums and irc since they feel so impermanent. My brother now occasionally reads this, and I'm cool with that. There is the worry of what they'll read in links to other people's content, and of accidentally breaking other people's anonymity, both of which I try to keep in mind.
   
5. If I put my personal details online crazy stalkers will hunt me down This worries me too sometimes, but given that there's no clear place to draw the line between sqbr and Sophie there's not much I can do. It is a slight challenge to find out my full name starting from this lj or any of my forum accounts etc (not that I go on fora much any more) but to be completely anonymous would mean cutting off my maths department page from everything else and making my homepage anonymous, neither of which appeals. If nothing else, part of me clings to my childhood dream of reaching Great Success as a writer, which means I want to associate my creations (and thus, my homepage) with my real name. Having a homepage with no links to fandom etc would be dumb because then noone would read it :)
   
   Anyway, the only people I've encountered I'd genuinely worry about doing something bad irl I met irl.
   
6. My friends would find the fandom/lj stuff boring and scary Have another look at 2. Also, pretty much all my friends are fans or at least comfortable with fannishness. Before I left home my family saw my reading habits, con-going and anime watching, so they're hardly unaware of me being a nerd (also: Phd in maths) not to mention the fact that most of my post highschool socialising has been via a science fiction club. As for boring, well, I try to only bring up the interesting stuff and it's better than talking about my thesis :) My parents are pretty cool and openminded, also.
   

Did I forget any?

(*)In case you don't know: At an interactive science museum mainly aimed at children. Pretty much everyone there is a cheerful slightly odd nerd of one type or another.
(**)Note to boss and family: not that I could ever have anything bad to say about you guys ever.

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[alias_sqbr]

That would explain the motorbike noises I keep hearing late at night.