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I went to two very different and very interesting get-togethers recently, and in both cases came out quite happy with myself and my reaction, especially compared to how my younger self would have reacted.
The first was my ten year high-school reunion. I had a very different experience to the one![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mandragora2003 describes here. Which makes sense, since in high-school, while she was outspoken and thus made a number of friends and enemies (some of whom were really quite cruel), I was incredibly shy and awkward, and as a result was largely ignored by the other girls in my year, with the odd vague attempt at friendliness/bullying.
Going back to the reunion was actually really positive. I'm a lot more self confident now, which allowed me to happily make small talk with the other women in a way I never could in high school. It was like exorcising the ghost of my shy miserable teenage self. I also got to chat to some of the women who had seemed like Really Interesting Girls in high-school, though not as much as I would have liked. I and the grown up versions of the bitchy mean girls happily ignored each other :)
Right at the end of year 12 I had this epiphany while waiting to be picked up from something. There were a bunch of girls from my year standing together ignoring me (as usual), but then I noticed another girl standing to the side, a girl I had never really spoken to who was, as far as I could tell, nice but shy and awkward. I realised that for all I knew she and I might have been best of friends if I had ever made the effort to talk to her, and now it was too late. I got a chance to talk to her at the reunion, and she is, as far as I can tell, quite nice, if a little shy :)
I bumped intoataxi and a bunch of other people while we were there (which was surreal) and as he pointed out the sense of Status Anxiety was palpable. Not that I care about that sort of thing, but it was a nice change from being bottom of the heap to be able to go "Oh, yes, I'm a doctor now. And I'm getting married in April". The other girls diamonds were bigger than mine though *angst*
For those curious about Rosalind Dixon (dux of my year, wasn't there), I recommend google. (A Harvard scholar and a human rights lawyer and a published author... so pretty much what I'd expected)
EDIT: Just so it's clear, afaict on the whole my classmates have grown into perfectly nice women, and I don't hold any particular resentment towards any of them. All teenage girls suck, and I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that even the ones who were particularly nasty back then have become decent human beings over the past 10 years. That doesn't mean I felt any desire to talk to them. The status thing was possibly all in my head, but it was such a big deal at school it's hard to imagine it's not somewhat of an issue still.
The first was my ten year high-school reunion. I had a very different experience to the one
mandragora2003 describes here. Which makes sense, since in high-school, while she was outspoken and thus made a number of friends and enemies (some of whom were really quite cruel), I was incredibly shy and awkward, and as a result was largely ignored by the other girls in my year, with the odd vague attempt at friendliness/bullying. Going back to the reunion was actually really positive. I'm a lot more self confident now, which allowed me to happily make small talk with the other women in a way I never could in high school. It was like exorcising the ghost of my shy miserable teenage self. I also got to chat to some of the women who had seemed like Really Interesting Girls in high-school, though not as much as I would have liked. I and the grown up versions of the bitchy mean girls happily ignored each other :)
Right at the end of year 12 I had this epiphany while waiting to be picked up from something. There were a bunch of girls from my year standing together ignoring me (as usual), but then I noticed another girl standing to the side, a girl I had never really spoken to who was, as far as I could tell, nice but shy and awkward. I realised that for all I knew she and I might have been best of friends if I had ever made the effort to talk to her, and now it was too late. I got a chance to talk to her at the reunion, and she is, as far as I can tell, quite nice, if a little shy :)
I bumped into
ataxi and a bunch of other people while we were there (which was surreal) and as he pointed out the sense of Status Anxiety was palpable. Not that I care about that sort of thing, but it was a nice change from being bottom of the heap to be able to go "Oh, yes, I'm a doctor now. And I'm getting married in April". The other girls diamonds were bigger than mine though *angst* For those curious about Rosalind Dixon (dux of my year, wasn't there), I recommend google. (A Harvard scholar and a human rights lawyer and a published author... so pretty much what I'd expected)
EDIT: Just so it's clear, afaict on the whole my classmates have grown into perfectly nice women, and I don't hold any particular resentment towards any of them. All teenage girls suck, and I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that even the ones who were particularly nasty back then have become decent human beings over the past 10 years. That doesn't mean I felt any desire to talk to them. The status thing was possibly all in my head, but it was such a big deal at school it's hard to imagine it's not somewhat of an issue still.
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It's bitchy to say I expected her to go to Harvard and become a human rights lawyer?
(In fact on the whole you seem to have misunderstood what I was saying. I wonder who you are? Presumably a fellow alumni, but with uncharacteristically poor spelling, reading comprehension, grammar and writing ability)
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I don't really care what you think of me, but on the off chance one of my year comes accross this I've added an addendum at the bottom so as to avoid any misunderstanding.
with much appologies this time
XX KA
Re: with much appologies this time
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Adding to the list
Re: Adding to the list
Yeah, ok, maybe not :)
I am glad (if not suprised) to hear things are going so well for her.
*wonders who you are*