sqbr: pretty purple pi (femininity)
Sean ([personal profile] sqbr) wrote2007-10-08 04:42 pm
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Random ranting

Something that [livejournal.com profile] tommmo's post reminded of and I decided not to fill his comments with(*): I really hate plots in modern fiction where it's presented as not that big a deal for an engaged couple to break up before their wedding, but A Huge Deal for them to get divorced. Unless they're particularly religious, a wedding is just a formalisation of an commitment they've already made, so breaking them up just before the ceremony is pretty much equivalent to doing so just afterwards (which is to say, a really big deal).

I do make an exception for "engaged" couples who show no signs of getting married. What I'm complaining about is "guy runs into the church and grabs the girl just before she says 'I do' to the wrong guy" or "Woman dumps wrong guy at altar having suddenly realised she's making a big mistake". I can only think of one film where he is too late and she just divorces the wrong guy and they live happily ever after, and it was a very pleasant surprise :) (I'm not saying which film for spoiler reasons. It's not a very good film on the whole anyway)

I guess some people don't really commit to their partner until the wedding day. Those people are dumb, and I do not wish to see films about them unless they are presented as dumb in the text :P

*is amused by the strange bookend this makes to the "wedding" tag* I think I've been reading too many fantasy rants :)

(*)Just his friends list :)

[identity profile] nephron.livejournal.com 2007-10-08 10:13 am (UTC)(link)
Arguably, it is easier if the relationship breaks up prior to wedding than just after- divorces are not trouble-free.
alias_sqbr: the symbol pi on a pretty background (Default)

[personal profile] alias_sqbr 2007-10-08 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
True. It's still not anywhere as clear cut as "If she's married we can Never Be Together but if she's not then there's no reason we can't get together" which is the way it's usually presented.

[identity profile] mothwentbad.livejournal.com 2007-10-08 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I once had a pastor say that if some kid agrees to mow your lawn, then you're in a legal contract more binding than a marriage.

[identity profile] nephron.livejournal.com 2007-10-08 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't comment on divorce law in the US, but while we have no-fault divorce here in Australia, it involves jumping through a bunch of hoops.

You need to prove that you've been separated for at least 12 months, and if the marriage lasted less than two years, you also have to attend counselling or get special court permission.

[identity profile] mothwentbad.livejournal.com 2007-10-08 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why he's a pastor and not someone who has anything to say worth listening to.

[identity profile] mothwentbad.livejournal.com 2007-10-08 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
The special court permission thing sounds kinda lame. Won't be eloping there soon.

[identity profile] tommmo.livejournal.com 2007-10-09 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think that the writers of those shows necessarily think that stopping someone before a wedding is a smaller deal than a divorce. It's more that writers love to use "time limits" on these sorts of things. If you can create a "before it's too late!" scenario, then that's a quick and easy way to create tension and drama.

Another good example is that apparently if you stop the girl before she gets on the plane you'll be fine and peachy forevermore, but if she leaves the country you have no chance whatsoever of being with her ever again. Apparently movie characters don't realise you can phone/email people in other countries. Same sort of thing, really. It's all about the time limit.
alias_sqbr: the symbol pi on a pretty background (Default)

[personal profile] alias_sqbr 2007-10-09 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
*blinks*

That is absolutely true. Way to deflate my rant :) Not that "rushing to the airport" things don't irritate me too. Stupid cliches.

[identity profile] loic.livejournal.com 2007-10-09 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I've had a more friends who just got married break up than friends who aren't married yet. Perhaps that's a factor of my age, but seriously, I've had a couple of friends in 6-10 year relationships break up 6 months into marriage.
alias_sqbr: the symbol pi on a pretty background (Default)

[personal profile] alias_sqbr 2007-10-11 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
And there you go.

Although of course as someone who's been in a relationship for eight years and married for... *thinks* *stops*

OMG WE MISSED OUR SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY A FEW DAYS AGO. We are doomed. DOOOOOMED!!

*thinks some more*

Wait, wait, no, we have a week and a bit to go. Phew!

*cough*

I'm sorry, what was I saying?

[identity profile] nico-wolfwood.livejournal.com 2007-10-11 09:18 am (UTC)(link)
LOL. I'll take your freak out as a cue that mine's coming up. Convenient that you got married just before I did.
alias_sqbr: the symbol pi on a pretty background (Default)

[personal profile] alias_sqbr 2007-10-11 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
So that's why you kept setting the date forward... :)