Thorns

Or: You're So Paranoid, You Probably Think This Post Is about You

About the original essay, and the point of all this

I came across the idea of reparative reading on Tumblr and was immediately taken with it. As described in this article:

A reparative reading seeks out what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art, even if the work is flawed. Importantly, a reparative reading also tends to consider what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art for someone who isn’t the reader.

Unfortunately all the discussion I could find was either unhelpfully vague, or in the form of (very positive) reactions to the writings of the creator of the term, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick. Specifically, to her 2003 essay collection Touching Feeling and the essay "Paranoid Reading and Reparative Reading; or, You're So Paranoid, You Probably Think This Essay Is about You".

Just as I was deciding if I really wanted to pay $25 US for a book I probably wouldn't be able to understand, I came across the original version of the essay, created in 1997 as the introduction to a book of queer readings, and offered online for free by the publisher: Paranoid Reading and Reparative Reading; or, You're So Paranoid, You Probably Think This Introduction Is about You.

I found a online version of the 2003 version of the essay, from a brief skim it's basically identical, minus the parts about the book of essays it used to be an introduction to.

Anyway! I started reading and it was interesting but I started getting overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar terms and concepts, and so I'm going to try summarise it as I go like I did with confusing academic papers during my Phd. Which may or may or not end up helpful for anyone else but will hopefully at least help me!

I was going to do this as one post but then looked at how long it had gotten for just the first 7 pages of 35 and went AH. OK THEN. TIME FOR A MASTERLIST.
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We are not the same – on Raphael, Jughead and Aro/Ace representation

stop pitting detransitoners against happily transitioned people

Physician, know thy own queer history
"A reflection on current sex-negative and exclusionary trends in LGBTQ+ discourse as the unfortunate consequence of 20 years of campaigning for same-sex marriage and legal gender transition, and therefore a focus on respectability politics and neglect of sex positivity and sex education" I think I linked to the dreamwidth post because of the comments.

Issues with "women and nonbinary" submission calls

The History of Homosexuality in Japan: Part 1

Non binary characters in Japanese media

When making inclusion resources for women and nonbinary folk, please consider including trans men Note that not all trans men feel this way! But it's a point of view worth noting.

(yes I did come across some of these researching Hakuoki fic, shh)

I've seen a few posts along these lines for being a lesbian/binary trans etc (see for example this post) and found it really interesting to compare and contrast. So here's my own experiences, both for understanding myself and for anyone struggling with similar thoughts who might find it useful.

Note: just because I had these thoughts and later realised I was bi etc doesn't mean anyone having similar thoughts necessarily has the same orientation/gender as me. In the other direction, if you're bi/ace/genderfluid and haven't had these thoughts that doesn't make either of us wrong. Human experience is varied and complex.

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(Because I promised myself any future long replies to reblogs would go here and not tumblr)

http://planettes.tumblr.com/post/146807918775/planettes-imo-the-split-attraction-model-is

Imo the split attraction model is ultimately useless and homophobic when you can still just say that youre lgb in any situation and will be regarded exactly the same in society with 100% less confusion.

No.

I do think the way some asexuals discuss split attraction can be gross for non-asexual lgb people, and that needs to be addressed. And there are definitely some lgb people on the asexual spectrum who don’t consider their asexuality to be a significant part of their identity and that’s fine. There are also some who identify as just “asexual” and consider the lgb-ness less important! For many people, myself included, being asexual-and-also-lgb is NOT the same as being lgb, and well beyond the bedroom. Maybe we’ll come up with a better model one day, but until then I’m going to use the best terms I have to describe myself and not erase my sexuality for other people’s convenience. I do understand that queer people have historically been hypersexualised, and I think it’s really important for asexuals to bear that in mind when we discuss the relationship of asexuality and queerness. But we can’t help existing, and the solution isn’t for us to hide but for all of us to work together against the broader harmful attitudes.
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A bunch of posts I saw on tumblr which got me thinking!

Asexuals in LGBT+ spaces

Why is queer taboo?

History of umbrella terms

The nasty, homophobic history of the term 'same sex attracted'

Discussion of 'same sex loving' as a AAVE term, and the difference to 'same sex attracted'

( And now my thoughts )

I now identify as genderfluid! It's still very new but feels really right and happy making. Not changing my pronouns or anything for now, so, I don't require you guys to do anything differently. Just letting you know where I'm at.

I've seen a lot of mogai people expressing discomfort/disdain for the plethora of rainbow filtered icons on facebook, and I don't mean to tell them they're wrong for their personal reaction, but I like it. I'm tired so here's my reasons in dot points.

• rainbows are pretty
  
• I can still see who people are (this is why I never participate in memes where everyone uses the same picture. Too confusing!)
  
• I now know those people are at least basically ok with same sex relationships! This does not go without saying for everyone I follow.
  
• Everyone who follows those people knows it too. This normalises mogai acceptance in general and marriage equality in particular. Since most people I follow are Australian and marriage equality hasn't been legalised here, that's not insignificant. And this is the case even if the people with the filters are doing it because of peer pressure/fashion.
  
• It's nice to feel part of a global celebration of civil rights (yes, of a United States specific event). Especially because rainbows are so festive!
  
• it's a really mild, ambiguous way for me to express my sexuality in a situation where I'm not 100% out.
  
• On my feed at least it's NOT all straight people, in fact I'd say it heavily skews lgbt. And the fact it's popular with straight people means the rest of us aren't unambiguously outing ourselves by using it.
  

I think that's about it! I know there are arguments against it, I'm not saying it's an unalloyed good. But it felt like a lot of people were assuming that the ONLY people who like it were straight and nope.

Here's two contrasting articles about it I came across via Facebook:
More than 26 million people have changed their Facebook picture to a rainbow flag. Here’s why that matters.
If you’re straight you need to stop using rainbow profile pics.