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( What I'm not looking for )
So does anyone have any recs? Books, websites, blogs, anything. Formal or informal, even fiction if it's got something useful to say (though not just "any good book with some mention of non binary genders"). They don't have to be entirely focussed on non binary people as long as they are genuinely inclusive. I guess what I'd like, to the extent it exists, is an equivalent to the breadth of feminist spaces, but either focussed on or equally inclusive of non binary people.
What I have so far:
Notes from a Wiscon panel on The Pitfalls of Haphazard Gender Inclusion with links to panelists' blogs
Notes from a "Beyond the Binary" panel which includes a bunch of links and the blog it's on.
A post with questions about how non binary and trans people fit into feminism and the "lifeoutsidethebinary" blog it's on.
Chaos Life is a comic created by an agender person which I generally like.
These are definitely something to start with (my browser is a wall of tabs right now :)), but recs would still be super useful.
(Also I need to make a new gender icon this one doesn't quite feel right any more!)
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So! I like to put wheelchair users in my games, because nobody else is going to. I feel reasonably confident writing/drawing people in my position: in a powerchair due to relatively recently acquired fatigue. Thanks to online research I also feel moderately confident with the Default Wheelchair User Character: a young, otherwise healthy paraplegic or amputee in a manual chair. The protagonist of SOON is this kind of character.
But I'm having trouble researching wheelchair using characters of other sorts, especially older people.
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Like...in my experience the best arguments happen when you can be open and understanding and try and see the other person's pov, engage with what they're actually saying instead of what you THINK they're saying, and not get all defensive and antagonistic.
But I'm too wordy for asks or replies (and those often get replied to publically anyway) and when I post a reblog I feel very aware that I am engaging not just with that person but with everyone who reads me, everyone following the post, and all of their followers (if they reblog my reply). And that awareness makes it SUPER HARD to be all the things I said in the paragraph above. Even if I trust that person to engage with me in an open and productive way, I don't trust all those other people, and so I put my guard up.
Does anyone else have this problem? And if so how do you deal with it?
Emailing them privately is an option when I have their email address, but it makes everything seem SUPER SERIOUS which puts me off. There's also writing out my argument in a text editor and dividing it up into as many asks as neccesary, I again feel weird about it but maybe it's a better approach. I like that reblogs can feel more like a casual discussion instead of a super serious "taking aside to express private disagreement" but it so easily goes from casual discussion to huge visible argument it seems not to be worth the risk for fraught topics.
"Don't argue with people on tumblr" is not a helpful aproach for me, I have recently tried arguing less but there are some opinions I find too upsetting to let slide and in my experience these unspoken arguments have a tendency to bubble up and explode if you ignore them. "Don't follow people with opinions you want to argue with" would mean cutting out a lot of people I mostly really like. And an echo chamber of people who all entirely agree with me is not entirely appealing. I really like being able to have productive discussions with people with different povs, and I know I used to be better at it.
Thinking about, I have taken the "just don't argue with people and unfollow anyone who makes that unbearable" approach to twitter, because expressing myself in 140 characters is just impossible. But I follow a very different group of people there, and barely post at all.
EDIT: Some interesting responses on tumblr...which of course I can't easily link to because tumblr but at worst you'll have to scroll down a little through that tag.
(going to post this on tumblr too, god help me, but point out that this post exists as a space for conversation for those who prefer it)
Have been recharging whenever I'm not using it, trying not to let it run down too low when I'm out, and trying to keep the wheels inflated though we did forget about that for a while. And it's still run out faster than it did before I started doing any of those things.
How embarrassed would you say you are about the person you were at 14?
not at all
I am 13 or under!
If you are fairly embarrassed, how old are you?
If you are NOT particularly embarassed, how old are you?
Imagine yourself pondering playing a free steampunk vampire f/f dating sim/visual novel. Which title sounds more appealing?
Which title is more alluring?
Other (explain in comments)
In other news my visual novel project is coming along pretty well :) I keep being paranoid that we've wandered into unfortunate implications with various plot points despite all of us trying very hard not to, I will definitely be asking if any of you guys want to be in on the alpha once we get to that stage.
The software engineering community has recently had a bunch of nasty sexism imbroglios with the same old "get harassed/belittled for being a woman, complain about harassment, get harassed/belittled for complaining" cycle seen in the geek community, atheism community etc.
See for example Stupid Question 107: Shhh… Harassment. Not a problem?.
There's currently a bunch of software engineers making noises about working together to fight against the entrenched sexism. Cam is very much on board with this, but thinks they should try and learn from other communities' experiences rather than reinventing the wheel. Also, engineers respond better to new ideas when you have links or other references to point them towards. I poked through my links but they're all focused on stuff like sexual harassment at cons rather than, say, women being ignored in professional settings.
My main advice for him as a male ally (based on my experiences as a white antiracist) is to try REALLY HARD to find female voices on the subject, and then use the microphone of male privilege to encourage all the other men to listen to those women.
So, what we're looking for:
- Female Software engineers, or other women in male dominated professional fields, talking about their experiences and offering advice on fighting sexism
- Explanations of why it's important to be actively inclusive not just "not really sexist"
- Explanations of why it's important to center the discussion around women and women's voices
- Ways for men to help in situations without being "white knights" or otherwise overbearing.
- Anything else relevant and useful
Cam is going to subscribe to the comments, but will probably not reply to many since he is not as chatty as me :)
Both to keep it interesting and for Great Justice I like the idea of moving beyond the fairly narrow box of typical depictions of "monster girls" (or female monsters, which aren't quite the same but are close enough for my purposes) you usually see eg as on fuckyeahmonstergirls. Thinking about what that box really is has been instructive, and I'd love to get some suggestions for things you guys would like to see (can't guarantee I'll draw them, but more inspiration is always good!)
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EDIT: Managed seven! I plan to do more later. Anyway, some things from the comments and elsewhere:
Femaleness is personified by cuteness as well as sexiness.
The definition of monster and the way it's used really does tie into disability a lot.
Markers of biological femaleness for monsters and non-humans can differ dramatically from ours (a mane-less lion for example)
the seam of skin and scales is a trans woman talking about "a feminism of the monstrous".
(nb I am also pretty sleepy, so don't feel up to explaining it here either. If you're interested, I'm sure someone else will post a link eventually)
Thinking about it, while I had a number of sympathetic anxious characters to choose from I can't think of any positive portrayals of people being being touch averse in a good natured "this is just how I am" way, it's all grumpy messed up people like Fenris. Can anyone else think of any examples? Closest I can think of is Rogue, who is polite about telling people not to touch her or they'll die, but I'd rather someone less wracked with angst.
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First off, nationality. As was pointed out to me the last time I tried doing a poll on this topic, just because I've lived in the same country my whole life and fit comfortably into it's majority culture doesn't mean other people's identities are so simple. It struck me that asking where people are currently located is a much less ambiguous question though of course you have to be careful not to then make the jump from "geographic location" to "national identity" in the analysis etc (especially since people might be on a three day business trip or something :)).
So! Please do this poll and then tell me anything about it that bugs you.
( Where are you?? )
Also: am going to be messing about with my access filters a bit :)
I'm taking a break from responding to comments or editing the post etc while I think about the points people are making but I am increasingly uncomfortable with what I was saying. Ack.
( Proof I shouldn't post when I have a cold )
I make fanworks (fic, art, and comics) which (since they're about people) touch on issues like race, class, gender, sexuality, disability etc. There is always the danger with these works that I've inadvertently made something Very Hurtful that I won't notice until someone points it out to me. If I just chuck stuff online based on my own judgement it could do a whole lot of harm before someone points out the Fail, and then I have to figure out how to fix it. (If your response to this is that I shouldn't worry about it, this post is not aimed at you but, for example, Racefail: same shit, different day is. I do not feel like arguing with you)
One common solution offered for this problem is being beta-ed, but this doesn't work for me. (Research and mindfulness etc do a most of the time, and thus I do them, but they're not entirely reliable by themselves)
( Possible solutions )
Anyway, they look like they would benefit from a wider range of opinions regardless (and could be an interesting comm!).
I have thus decided I will at some point swap over to cross-posting the stuff that currently goes in alias_sqbr from alias_sqbr (yes, keeping lj comments enabled).
But before I can do that I need to know: is there any easy to switch between two dreamwidth accounts? Preferably one that works in Safari.
*Tests out the crossposting footnote thing, which I only just figured out*
If you don't want on the filter but are sad about the post: sorry! It wasn't that good anyway.
Because people are lazy:
Do you agree to my commenting policy and want to be on the filter?
Oh thank god, that last question was torture
I refuse to engage in this pointless ticking
(nb: if it's more than a few days or so after I posted this, I probably won't notice that you added yourself, so leave a comment)