So this is embarassing

[sqbr]

This morning I had a moment of perfect clarity. I felt a strength of purpose and certainty in the importance of speaking publically on a complex issue that I haven't felt much in the last few years.

And then this evening I had a second moment of perfect clarity. That thought was "this is fucked up." And realised that the state I'm in now, and haven't been in for several years, is unmedicated.

GUESS WHO'S RINGING A THERAPIST TOMORROW.

My apologies to anyone who was hurt by the now locked post, which I am going to ignore for a while until I feel able to approach it with at least a modicum of rationality. Also apologies for blarging my personal issues on you all, but I felt like an explanation was neccesary and couldn't think of a less mortifying way to explain things. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play computer games for a while and try not to die of /o\

Comments

[havocthecat]

I read the post and decided that not commenting was the way to go.

Thanks for explaining! :) Hoping for the best for you, mental health-wise.

[sqbr]

Thanks!

[naraht]

Thank you for this. I wish you the best and will be thinking of you (kindly).

[sqbr]

Thank you. And thanks for your comment, to be honest I didn't get all the way to the end but it helped put things into perspective for me.

[jesse_the_k]

Hey, we all have brains. Given the topic, it's exceptionally difficult to make sense even when one is at one's best.

Hope you attain eucognition soonest.

[sqbr]

*googles* Thanks! Nothing like robots to clear the mind ;)

[jesse_the_k]

*blushes* I was just making up words — I get to be "euthyroid" when my levels are in balance — and of course someone else has deployed it commercially.

You're more interesting than the latest robot every day.

Silly icon is not actually true.

[sqbr]

Yeah, I realised that wasn't actually what you meant, but it was amusing and I love robots :)

[yalovetz]

Glad you are taking care of yourself with therapist calls and video games.

[sqbr]

Thanks

[wendelah1]

I didn't read the post but I know what it's like to post when my brain isn't working quite right. I don't want to say it's gonna be okay because I don't know what you wrote, but you're a really good person and whatever happened, I know you'll make it right again.

[sqbr]

Thank you

[velithya]

I did read the post but I don't think I know the person in question or the situation at all so I didn't know enough context to comment or anything. If it helps I think that you handled the situation post-post really well. And good on you for realising what was up and giving yourself the self-care you need.
:)

[sqbr]

Thanks :)

[moonvoice]

I didn't see the post but recently had to set a post I made myself to private because it was just too ahhh... emotionally charged for me to feel comfortable leaving it up, since I knew the sensitive subject matter could be difficult for others to take even if I was talking about the situation rationally (which I wasn't). So *offers hugs to take or leave* and I'm so sorry that you're going through this and also really happy you've contacted someone to support you through the steps you make to go back on medication / whatever methods help you. I hope the computer games help!

[sqbr]

Thanks! The computer games have definitely helped. If you're ever after easy distracting fairy tale themed puzzle games I reccomend the Dak Parables series, great for mindless but absorbing clicking.