sqbr: me pointing to a hat with neon sign saying Mod on it. (mod hat)
Sunday, September 22nd, 2019 08:23 pm
This is my Serious Business journal. Are you perhaps looking for my fannish/personal journal [personal profile] alias_sqbr?

My old comment policy, I don't care about this as intensely as I used to but it gives some idea of how I'd like people to interact here.

Absolutely anyone is welcome to read/subscribe, and noone is under any obligation to give me access.

This is the stuff I assume you know about me.
Tags:
sqbr: And yet all I can think is, this will make for a great Dreamwidth entry... (dreamwidth)
Wednesday, February 8th, 2017 10:25 pm
This has been building for like 8 months, which means I look back on the me who collected some of these with weary nostalgia. But here we are.
Read more... )
sqbr: A giant eyeball with tentacles (tii)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2017 11:40 am
This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only. Originally posted to tumblr.

Hi, I'm Sophie alias sqbr, a fic writer and fanartist, mostly into Bioware games, anime, and Jane Austen.

This post is basically just a bunch of thoughts about my personal experience, I would be really interested to hear from other people with different experiences. In a sense it's the third in a trilogy:
First, Why do we femslash?, written back in 2009 when I identified as a straight cis woman.
Second, Personal Experiences of Femslash Fandom as a Queer Space, written in 2013 after I started identifying as a bi woman.
And now we have this, written in 2017, now that I identify as a genderfluid biromantic grey asexual. I guess we'll have to wait and see where I'm at in 2021 ;)

So! I've been into f/f since before I even realised queerness existed (my childhood feels about Anne/Diana let me tell you them), and into femslash fandom for about ten years. I have always identified much more strongly with female characters than male ones, and while I enjoy m/f romance I get tired of it's ubiquitous heteronormativity. So when I find good f/f I really enjoy it, and I get a kick out of making it.

When I realised I was bi a lot of things made more sense. I was a bi woman, no wonder I identified with female characters and like m/f and f/f! But when I realised I was genderfluid it made things a little more complicated.
Read more... )
sqbr: A giant eyeball with tentacles (tii)
Tuesday, December 27th, 2016 06:09 am
50 Ways People Expect Constant Emotional Labor from Women and Femmes

Right down to a link about how "women and femmes" have a pay gap... that leads to an article about women vs men. I am not expecting anyone to have access to data that includes non binary people but they could say that rather than erasing our existence.

If they'd not done the search and replace I'd just have had a moment of "sigh, non binary people exist" but otherwise be ok with it.

Discussions of gender which erase non binary people are annoying but they are not as actively gross to me as ones which "remember" us by just assuming some portion of us are "basically women" (whether it be femmes or "women aligned" non binary people or some other arbitrary subset) and implicitely treat the rest like "basically men".
Read more... )
sqbr: (up)
Sunday, December 25th, 2016 11:46 pm
Namely: Can this disabled fictional character be replaced in the plot by a broken lamp?

For example: Man's [wife] is [sick]. He gets into debt to try and fix his [wife]. [Wife] has no lines and no other effect on the plot except to be a loved burden.

You can replace "sick wife" by "broken lamp" and the plot works just as well. Thus, like almost every story involving a sick wife, the example passes the broken lamp test.

Inspired by the sexy lamp test and Cam ranting to me about the ableism in the OA. And while most 'sexy lamps" get some lines and some choices, even if they're vapid and meaingless, many "broken lamps" don't get any lines or agency at all and could quite literally be replaced by broken lamps.

I mean I think these "tests" can be overused and unhelpful when a deeper and more nuanced analysis would be more productive. But I am still pretty happy with this as a term.
sqbr: Nepeta from Homestuck looking grumpy in front of the f/f parts of her shipping wall (grumpy)
Thursday, November 3rd, 2016 04:13 pm
With arguments including:
  • Made by a woman of colour (directed by a Japanese woman in Japan)
  • Aimed at women, female gaze (don't get me started on 'the female gaze'. Just. Don't)
  • Does not objectify women (because it's about men)
  • Multiple well drawn female characters (who are secondary to the men)
  • Canon amab genderqueer gay asexual protagonist in canon relationship with a man (is about two mildly gender non conforming guys being homoerotic-with-plausible-deniability)
  • Ethnic diversity (a Thai character has had a few lines)
  • Title is clearly a queer feminist deconstruction of male gazey yuri anime (title is very confusing if you are looking for actual yuri)


Which is to say: it's a lot of fun and less problematic/more progressive than most sports anime. I really like it! But it's still a mainstream anime about dudes.

I haven't actually seen any arguments along these lines for this show in particular but I was replying to a friend's post about the way people twist themselves in knots to argue that stories about dudes are THE MOST FEMINIST EVER and went "What would my example be? Well I just watched an episode of Yuri on Ice, and...oh God. I know exactly what someone out there is saying about this show".

Now later when I see such meta I can say "I KNEW IT" :)
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Sunday, October 23rd, 2016 10:02 am
Removing the allcaps because I find them hard to read, but I really agree with
the one thing both those positions share is fear of critical engagement with a person who disagrees with you, which is the one thing you absolutely need in order to progress a discussion past whatever stalled you in the first place.

from this post.

I think the only way to move past this is not just to criticise those we most strongly and angrily disagree with, but to seek out and acknowledge those points of view we disagree with but can respect, and to not act like everyone who disagrees with us is the same as those we disagree with most. Also to avoid uncritically promulgating the opinions of those who are “on our side” but engage in uneccesary cruelty, overgeneralisation or outright misinformation. And if you're afraid to voice your qualms about someone "on your side" because they might turn against you...they're not really on your side.

And then I started rambling, nothing I haven't said before )
sqbr: I lay on the couch, suffering an out of spoons error (spoons)
Thursday, September 22nd, 2016 11:24 am
Bad science misled millions with chronic fatigue syndrome. Here’s how we fought back

From all accounts the effects of the PACE trial were most horrific in the UK, but the idea that my fatigue is all in my head and is best treated with exercise has come up repeatedly for me, too. Ironically it's actually made me exercise less: I'm not willing to try exercising without the help of a medical professional I trust to say if I'm pushing too hard, and I've yet to meet any. They all set the baseline for "mild exercise" at a level I know would make me sicker, and have seen other people with cfs harmed by listening to this kind of advice.

I'm also really glad none of the psychologists or psychiatrists I've seen subscribed to the "tell patient to ignore their understanding of their own health" approach to CBT. Blech.

The "you don't have exercise intolerance you're just neurotic about exercise and need to believe in yourself" attitude is so appealing to able bodied people, and can seduce people wth cfs, too. For a while. Back when [livejournal.com profile] cfids_me was more active we'd always have people touting the Lightning Process.
sqbr: A giant eyeball with tentacles (tii)
Thursday, September 15th, 2016 10:00 pm
Honestly not sure I'll stick to it, and if you slip up and refer to me as "she" I won't be destroyed (unless I thought you were doing it out of pig headedness or something) But I feel like it's something I need to try out and see if it fits!

If the usage confuses you: it's like if I was a person of unknown gender. Which, being genderfluid, I kind of am! "Can you ask Sophie if they are ready for dinner?" etc.

Oh, also: this is my Tii-from-Glitch icon, since they are a non binary maths nerd giant :D
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Tuesday, September 13th, 2016 01:38 pm
Got most of the way through this before remembering I was going to put all my long tumblr responses on dreamwidth haha.

Post I am replying to:
There’s a post that appeared on my dash earlier... the tl;dr summary of said post is that fandom ‘isn’t required to be a safe space’. ... Fandom isn’t here to create a safe space for creators either: it is literally a community about sharing. And sharing is a two way street.


“It’s ok to criticise fanfic just don’t attack the person” shouldn’t be such a rare point of view, but here we are. Anyway, I agree in principle. I’ve seen pushback against excessive criticism which goes past “don’t send death threats” and even “don’t criticise racism” to end up at “don’t criticise plagiarism” which is something I thought everyone agreed was worth criticising.

I think a major problem here is a flattening everything from “has a pairing I don’t like” to “actual hate speech” into “problematic”, and flattening everything from sending death threats to saying you didn’t enjoy something into “criticism”.
Read more... )
sqbr: Hannelore: Worry hat! Bravery plus 10, charisma plus 5 (worry hat)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2016 08:34 pm
This is very hard for me to write, so I apologise if it's disjointed. But I keep seeing people I like and respect behave in ways that claim to be about protecting abuse survivors yet are actively harmful to me as an abuse survivor. I have a probably vain hope that by explaining how it's hurtful we can find a better way to help all survivors in fandom, and generally make fandom more safe and enjoyable for everyone.

The aspect of "anti" shipping culture I have a problem with is the tendency to classify certain fictional relationships are inherently harmful and working to prevent them from being portrayed or discussed positively under any circumstances, as well as other behaviours I will go into. I'm not talking about people who publicly dislike a certain ship but don't actively try to silence those who like it.

Content warning: Rape and abuse, both real and fictional. I'll try not to be more triggering than I have to be but given the topic there's only so much I can do.
Read more... )
(Posting this publicly so I can link back to it as necessary, since usually when I want to make these arguments I'm too triggered to be coherent. It's basically the same as the locked draft I posted, but with a few edits here and there)
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Monday, August 29th, 2016 02:45 pm
So, I've been in fandom a long time and have seen the overall values of various fannish communities shift and change. I've personally been involved in efforts to improve fandom's attitudes towards social justice. But unfortunately it seems like whatever values fandom has in theory, in practice fans tend to exhibit the same toxic behaviours, often entirely opposed to the values they are theoretically upholding. Seeing this happen with social justice has been especially frustrating, but it's always bad, and I'm not sure what can be done about it.
Read more... )
sqbr: Are you coming to bed? I can't, this is important. Why? Someone is wrong on the internet. (duty calls)
Thursday, August 25th, 2016 01:33 pm
a) Science fiction by white people, specifically Americans, exploring the complex ethical question of whether or not slavery and/or genocide is actually always bad.
b) Inspiring and/or angry images with no descriptions about the importance of inclusion for disabled people, using a blind person's inspiring achievements as an example of what great things can happen if we just make a small effort towards accessibility. Bonus points if the person posting is themselves disabled, but not visually.

In general I feel like "inspiring visual works about blind people that clearly haven't even considered whether actual blind people can enjoy them" is a whole distinct genre. There's probably, like, people posting inspiring songs about Deaf people to soundcloud without lyrics/art installations up a flight of stairs about wheelchair users etc too, but blind people seem to get it the worst.

*mutters and grumbles*
sqbr: Asterix-like magnifying glass over Perth, Western Australia (australia 2)
Tuesday, August 9th, 2016 09:46 pm
Since there's been interesting discussion on twitter and Facebook but I haven't seen much elsewhere.

So. Tonight is the Australian Census. There has been major controversy since it was announced that the government would be keeping people's names and addresses attached to the data for years, if not indefinitely. Many people said they would boycott or at least not put down their names. This was complicated by the fact that there is a $180 a day fine for anyone who refuses to do it, and that it is illegal to encourage people to not do it. People found round about ways to advise people anyway (This comic is also cute)
But it turned out this was the tip of the iceburg )
sqbr: And yet all I can think is, this will make for a great Dreamwidth entry... (dw)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2016 07:22 pm
I've talked about this on [personal profile] alias_sqbr but for anyone who doesn't follow me there: I've made an account at Imzy, a sort of cross between tumblr and reddit which is designed to encourage communities and discourage hostility. It's pretty quiet but has potential, especially the ability to have closed communities only visible to members. Also you can make multiple identities, including an anonymous one, that noone but you can see the connections between, although you can only use one per community.

Anyway, I've made a "personal community" eg blog, and if you apply to join it I can send you an invite to Imzy in general. I have 50 invites so don't worry about me running out :)
sqbr: me cosplaying the bearded dwarf cheery longbottom, titled Expressing my femininity with an axe (femininity)
Sunday, July 24th, 2016 07:37 pm
What options do you want to see in games which allow the player to customise their character's gender and appearance? What existing games have impressed you?

Read more... )
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Wednesday, July 20th, 2016 05:39 pm
An interesting tumblr post which makes the point that a lot of didactic works are the equivalent of a porn film with "AND THEN THEY GOT PREGNANT AND DIED" at the end that claims to be encouraging safe sex/abstinence etc.

Some thoughts I had as a result:
Read more... )
sqbr: (up)
Sunday, July 10th, 2016 10:58 pm
The Sad Anime Wheelchair Girl (who may not actually be a girl, or in an anime, but that's where I've seen it most) is in a manual wheelchair with handlebars of the sort used in hospitals. She is either a paraplegic or just "sick". Her personality is quiet, passive, and emotionally sensitive. She is quietly melancholy about her disability but tries to keep her spirits up.

She's got complete control over her arms so definitely isn't quadraplegic etc. She has no cognitive issues. She is slow and weak and sickly even when there isn't anything wrong with her canonically asides from paraplegia. She never has a power wheelchair but uses other people to push her around long distances or even by default. Her situation is not shown as changing or improving no matter how long she is in the chair.

This is not how things work! Paraplegics are, in general, just as energetic as able bodied people. They have elegant streamlined wheelchairs that look very different to the sorts used in hospitals, and incredibly strong arms. And those wheelchair users who can't push themselves around very energetically or at all are much more likely to use a power wheelchair than get someone else to push them around. The only long term manual wheechair users I've seen rely entirely on other people were those too cognitively impaired to control a power chair. There may be other circumstances I'm not aware of but it certainly isn't the default, and I have seen manual wheelchair users complain about all of this.
Pondering how to draw fanart of such characters )
sqbr: (up and down)
Thursday, July 7th, 2016 01:28 pm
(Because I promised myself any future long replies to reblogs would go here and not tumblr)

http://planettes.tumblr.com/post/146807918775/planettes-imo-the-split-attraction-model-is

Imo the split attraction model is ultimately useless and homophobic when you can still just say that youre lgb in any situation and will be regarded exactly the same in society with 100% less confusion.


No.

I do think the way some asexuals discuss split attraction can be gross for non-asexual lgb people, and that needs to be addressed. And there are definitely some lgb people on the asexual spectrum who don’t consider their asexuality to be a significant part of their identity and that’s fine. There are also some who identify as just “asexual” and consider the lgb-ness less important! For many people, myself included, being asexual-and-also-lgb is NOT the same as being lgb, and well beyond the bedroom. Maybe we’ll come up with a better model one day, but until then I’m going to use the best terms I have to describe myself and not erase my sexuality for other people’s convenience. I do understand that queer people have historically been hypersexualised, and I think it’s really important for asexuals to bear that in mind when we discuss the relationship of asexuality and queerness. But we can’t help existing, and the solution isn’t for us to hide but for all of us to work together against the broader harmful attitudes.
Read more... )
sqbr: She's getting existential again. It's ok I have a super soaker. (existentialism)
Thursday, June 30th, 2016 06:04 pm
I know this has been adressed many times by a lot of people, but I was pondering this question from someone who is hurt by some of the problematicness themselves, and the usual response didn't quite cover it.

My opinion in short:

There's lots of ways to "support" a work: watching/reading it, paying for it, promoting it, etc. Each should be considered separately.

And there are two questions when it comes to whether you or not you should "support" a work, for whatever definition of "support" is relevant:
1) What effect does it have on you?
2) What effect does it have on other people?

How you weigh the two answers is a matter of personal ethics, but they should both have weight. And it's very important not to weight what affects you more than what affects other people in anything claiming to be an objective analysis of the ethics of a situation.

Unfortunately people tend to conflate all the different forms of support, which I think is unhelpful.
My opinion in looooooong )